So, my cameras are en route as I went away and left them.  I miss writing here, it seems to alleviate the need to speak to a physical person.  I decided to create my photo for this post. 

Whilst visiting my friend in California, we got into the natural v. fake topic.  She's been relaxed, her sister natural.  Fortunately for her, she's not obsessed with beauty, fashion, makeup all of my downfalls.  She posed a question and I never realized some people don't know the difference between "transitioning" and "stretching."

Stretching is the process of extending a relaxer for a prolonged period of time with the intent to decrease overlapping between touch ups.  By "stretching" the time between relaxers it also allows the length of the hair to be a bit more pronounced.  If you wait five months between relaxer touch ups, versus 4-6 weeks, the difference is impressive.

So, rejection...happens to the best of us, I've learnt there are some it never happens to.  Well, this post is dedicated to anyone who's ever been rejected.

GET OVER IT!!!

So, there's a bloke I had my ♥ set on.  To be honest, there are a few.  But one decided to chirpse out of nowhere.  He's an attractive lad.  Tall, dark and handsome but I wasn't smitten at all.  He begins to e-mail me sweet comments.  This led to him asking me a plethora of questions, and giving me his "mobile since I don't have friends in the States."  Well, I am horrible at calling men, so I gave him mine thinking okay we never chat at work (I know, I know) have lunch or take breaks together, he's bored and I'm as well.  So, I get a sweet text, and over time they get progressively flirtatious.  Well, I'm no fool, I've been around boys all my life, I have all older brothers and my dad is the leader of the pack when it comes to dogs.  I don't take compliments literally, I read Steve Harvey's book at the request of my father.  So, what happened?  I fucked slipped up.  In my defense, the boy is sexy as hell and his imagination would make Jodeci blush.  WOW!

So, I raised his sexy and added my own twist.  The boy fell back hard.  WTF?  He talked a good game but when I called his bluff, he choked?!!!! I give him credit, he spoke a good game, pursued me (never happens) and seemed like a freak :)  I didn't want to be his girlfriend, friend with benefits, I was bold and said we couldn't be friends because I don't fuck my friends.  He changed at that point and things went south.  He was so up/down, black/white, hot/cold etc. So, I asked him if he was bipolar a Gemini.  I really wondered if he gave his phone/computer to someone and the person at work was him.  I'm laughing as I type, so this is good.  I never even asked him questions about himself, his situation, nothing.  I don't really care as I'm not into a boyfriend right now, too much going on and he knew this, as well as that I won't be in the USA long.  So what young 27 year old "Leo with Virgo Rising" <~whatever that means, doesn't want to shag?  This guy!

I know a lot of ladies would be grief stricken, but guess what?  It's a dude!  There are plenty more, and now I have some ideas on seducing the next guy as a result.  I'm flattered he felt he couldn't play me.  Maybe he's gay and thought, "I find her cute maybe...Oh no, she's way too much I thought she'd be easier."  He does have a lot of men who like to "train" him on assignments.  I am not hiding my head in shame, stuffing my face and watching chick flicks, I'm upping my game! My body is my date and it needs likes a lot of attention.  If I stay on track, I'll be fit by summer, six pack, toned and ready for fun!  It's no big deal.  I would have died a year ago, but since I've made a decision to live a little, I look at the positive.  I didn't die, I have his texts so he can't file a charge, he's not alpha enough and it was fun to have a distraction.  Dude might be married or catching feelings, it's all good. 

Your homework:  If you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, find someone you fancy and simply smile.  If you're bold say, "Hello."  You're not asking them for a date, marriage or their first born. (maybe dude had a kid???) It will make you feel good about yourself, I promise.  You must remember eye contact also.  If you have someone, read this I promise you won't regret it.

Stay sexy!

I have been experimenting with some of the products I ordered for my skin.  I have heard about this Sofina Perfect; however, it was "Sofina Lucent" I was searching for and didn't realize there had been a name change.  I wanted a sunscreen that wouldn't add to the oil situation I already endure.  I can't stop my quest for the product that will help mattify my skin.  I had been using Shiseido, but I can't find it and am not sure if it's discontinued.

I ordered online from bobodave because he offered free shipping and since he's in Hong Kong, I thought that was brilliant as international shipping can get quite costly.  To be blunt, shipping can make or break my decision to order online.  I was quite impressed at how fast the shipping was.  It sailed through customs and although I had done research, I envisioned a larger bottle. 

I prefer this packaging over Shiseido's as it has a dropper type tip.  That's a good thing because this stuff is like water.  I applied it directly to my face thinking it would be similar to lotion.  It slid down my face faster than I could retrieve it and didn't stop until it rested on my shirt.  No worries, I get ready in my pyjamas.  It has a ball which helps mix the product when you shake it.  Everything about the product is in Chinese so I didn't read the directions, this was a decision based on reviews of the product on a skin board.  It retails for $17.20, which is much less than MAC SPF 50 Prep and Prime and Shiseido SPF 55.  With the Shiseido, I find when you wash it off, there is this wretched scent that hits you like a baseball bat, but this doesn't which surprises me as they seem to be identical products.  It goes on really well, I put it on after my moisturizer and my skin looks matte, smooth and foundation (for oily skin) didn't skip when I applied it. Many times oil free foundations tend to dry as you're applying it but this went well.  As far as keeping the oil away?  Sorry but while it's better than many, I still had to blot by 9:00 a.m. just 3 hours after applying.  Is it the product or me?  Probably me, but that was sort of a let down since I read about people who are oily as well not needing to blot until after lunch when they touched up their makeup.  Lucky girls, no joy for me. 

Overall, I don't regret the purchase, but I can't say it's going to keep the oils at bay since that wasn't my experience.  Again, the transaction was very smooth, this company has a Facebook, blog, and maybe a twitter, they have other products as well, which confused me as not only is there a name change but there are tons of other which might cause problems so I've included the one you want to pick if you decide to give this a go.  I would recommend this product for girls who aren't very oily, and it can be used as a primer, but don't expect it to act as a virtual sponge in preventing oil production.  Stay gorgeous!

Sometimes mirrors play tricks on me.  I leave the house thinking, "Meh, you're alright."  Then something happens.  Like today, a tall, blonde with long straight hair passes me, and I'm carrying my esteem with me to the train.  I thought this was over.  Seriously, I don't believe in comparing myself to other people.  It's too much energy on something I have no control over.  I will never be them, no surgery, hair/skin/eye color will make me them.  I was done with it and it happened.  

On top of it, a really handsome bloke asked me out for drinks after work.  I made an excuse and didn't offer another time.  I thought, "He's too pretty, his teeth are white and big like piano keys, and his hair is wicked."  This translates to:  I'm not good enough he must just be a player and see if I'll put out.  He's a man, they love sex and they are wired to hunt. 

I hurt two people that way.  I judge him and put him with the likes of a dog just because he does what I do.  Gets up and tries to look his best.  I know "Straight men don't..." Wrong!  Men have the same insecurities we do.  It takes courage and balls nerve to ask a co-worker girl out.  Some of us need to recognize that men are subject to scrutiny like women.  For every dog there's a bitch right?  He can't be a player if there's no one to play with so let's keep it 100 and admit we find fault with men to make ourselves feel better or worse.

I noticed I do it all the time.  I immediately look at guys as friends.  I don't even consider them as options.  I told myself that it was because they were "friends" but aren't friends the step before relationships?  I have let my insecurities extend to those who are kind and undeserving.  Why?  I reckon it's a form of self sabotage.  A wall keeps people away, but it also keeps us locked in. 

So, what am I going to do?  I'm going to be kind and considerate to people more than I have.  It's just spending time together, I wouldn't stress if a friend asked, so why jump to conclusions.  He may not have anything on his mind like that.  Maybe he wants to know how to satisfy his girlfriend.  Or, maybe he's coming out of the closet and wants some advice?  What if he thinks my hair is fake and wants to confront me when no one's around?  See... who really knows what people are thinking.  I don't think society needs to give us subliminal tones that we are inadequate, we do it to ourselves.  So, let's stop comparing apples to oranges and our insides with others' outsides.  Love yourself, or I will until you can!

xoxo

I'm finally accepting that the economy simply sucks!  I have endured more in the last year, than I have in the last ten.  There's been nothing but change!  Even my forums are reloaded and I am an avid lurker.  *Some forums are best left for seasoned participants* I am a self confessed nose.  Not nosey, nose.  I sniff EVERYTHING!!! If I grab something, whether or not its' edible, I take a whiff.  If it pongs, it's tossed.  Nothing that smells rank is kept.  I don't play roulette with my stomach, if something doesn't smell fresh, it's tossed.  Same with anything on my face.  I went to The Body Shop  to purchase more Satsuma oil to keep in my burner.  The staff told me they know longer had it, and to check back around the holidays.  Right... I'd been watching beauty vlogs about soap making so I deduced there must be somewhere people are able to get fragrances, oils, scents, flavours, etc. to make all these body treats.  I was right.  I found Nature's Garden and though it's called Nature's Garden Candles it's so much more than candles. 

 I loved this transaction!  This was an arbitrary transaction, I was searching for Satsuma and they were one of the e-tailers who carried it.  I didn't know what to expect, but I browsed through the site and it was so informative, I felt like I wanted to make soy candles.  I learnt a lot, but this was meant for the home.  I like having fragrances in the restroom, kitchen, auto, etc. for various reasons.  Sometimes I need it to relax, think of a cold winter night, sipping tea, burning sweet fragrance and reading a book, watching telly, or time with your partner.  That's me.  The staff was so kind, I inadvertently left out numbers on my debit card and the owner called me straight away, and sent me confirmation.  Today, I came home to my package and this is after UPS missed me by one day.  It hasn't been a full week!  What I didn't know was there is a ratio of how much scent is used for various material compounds, as well as the true level of fragrance.  I've bought those .33 oz vials at drugstores and they have no scent, this site let's you know how strong the scent is.  Mine were (medium and strong) I am so happy with my purchase.  Part of me wants to make crafts and order more stuff, but I don't really have people who are interested, but I can donate them to a shelter so who knows.  If you are into bath and body type things, this is a great item to get for way less than you get at department stores.  I wish I could tell the former places (the ones we all go to) to suck it! But I am a believer in karma.

I don't know if it's sad or pathetic, but I get so excited to get things in the mail.  Even though I ordered and pay for things myself, it feels like a present!  I have more bad experiences so when something good happens, it feels like God is showing me a sign to hang on.  Corny? Yes!  But it gets me through the tough times.  

I felt the need to include a picture, I have to get over myself.  Many people see blogs with the writer's photos as narcissistic, but guess what? How can I show anything if it's not utilized?  Like the shadow for this day, look!