Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
I hate myself for participating; however, there "might" have been a viewing party. For all the seasons, there has yet to be someone of colour to be holding the roses.
To be fair, the producers have stated a lack of interest. I don't buy it, but I do think they are avoiding the pink elephant in the room. Is America ready to see an Asian, South Asian, Black, et al Bachelor/Bachelorette? Probably not, hell there was Flavor Flav right?
The show is absolutely ridiculous. I mean people go on telly to meet their husband/wife on a reality show? That alone tells me I wouldn't be interested. Seriously, even if the opportunity arose and I met someone having drinks and a chat, I don't think it would lead to an engagement. These men and women are like dogs in heat. You have the alphas, the terriers, king of the jungle and the other creatures of the wild.
I could not stop staring at the current season with Chris Soules. He's the farmer from the mid-west, who resembles a cross between Matthew McConaughey and Tim Tebow.
The women were about as interesting as a can of paint, but I was so interested in the drunkard. I'm sure they didn't eat all day, and then with the red carpet and almost Hollywood premiere party nerves were probably high. A wee bit too much champagne and I'm pretty sure she feels like a nob. What a way to make a first impression, but she got a rose.
Isn't it amazing how big and white their teeth are? Like piano keys all bright and shiny. Their hair and those gowns are a nice touch. I just don't follow the process. They're locking lips and professing their love and don't know a thing about the person. I am geeked when I see them rejected in the limo sobbing uncontrollably for not making the cut. It was the first night, surely there are other chances to meet someone and fall in love over a drink right?
I'm doubtful this crop will turn into marriage but it's fun to see how it folds. I seem to lose interest after the premier; however, I rarely find the contestants interesting.

xo
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The important things matter in the end, no?
If you sold Mary Kay or Herbal Life, you might allow people to sample your product, but would you just give your inventory away? What about working a 40 hour week, not as a volunteer, but for free?
Look at how you allow others to treat you. Do your friends, lovers, colleagues bleed you dry? If so, you haven't quite figured out your worth.
The other day, I realised I was really trying to make friends, and maybe a love connection since it looks like I'll be here awhile.
I tried online dating to have sub-par responses but that didn't bother me too much. Then, a "friend" was telling me about how she met this guy and how well they were getting on and he stopped communicating with her. She sent him texts, emails, and asked what I thought she should do. I told her it was apparent he was not interested given the information she conveyed to me. "Well, I think I deserve to know why he just stopped. I feel like our friendship wasn't important." 
I said something to her, and after, I have ceased contacting her. See, I met "Jane Doe" and we hit it off. We have a lot in common, we work in the same field, same family dynamics and many of the same ghosts in our pasts are similar. We got on well, but she had said something that I don't like hearing but I thought "she never met a girl like me." So, we were thick as thieves and I was her support system through a lot of things in a short period. When she thought she had breast cancer, I was there for her 110%, when she needed to talk about a break up, there I was, when she needed someone to simply listen, me again. I started to think about some of my pain, and situations where I needed someone to listen or at the oncologists maybe someone to text. When you're sat in a hospital room and you see others, it makes you think. I saw all the people who had their infusions the same day and time as me, but I was always alone. So, I decided to be upfront. I compared the situation she felt to what I felt about her. She said she didn't really have female friends, guys were not so catty, blah, blah, blah but since I am alone 99.9% of the time when not working, how can I gossip or engage in that behaviour? Naturally, I got the same thing that I hear all the time. "I have trust issues." Give me a break, life is all about failing. If things were a slam dunk there would be no challenge to try to grow, improve, change and develop. We all have trust issues, but we don't stop living and we don't stop living life. We trust that we will leave the house and return home in one piece. We trust that public transportation will get us to our destination so we do take risks. If she's willing to risk heartbreak that's a weak excuse for not being a friend. In her mind, because I allowed it, she was a good friend. She trusted me with her deep, dark secrets.
I was giving her a lot of me and getting nothing in return. Then I thought about how hard I had been trying to make friends, and I realised, enough of this. I'm a good person, I am compassionate, loyal, and dog on it people like me ☺
I took an inventory of what I have to offer and what I wanted in return. It's hard to make a decision if you don't know what you want. I'm emotionally resilient, so needy, touchy and feely types make me nervous. I sorted out the type of person, wrote it down, and put it in my box. Then I stopped looking for someone to fill that void. I found out about Meetup and started selecting things to do based on my interests. I'm happy to say, I had my first visit, and things went quite well. I was scared mute, but I managed. I feel some kind of way about cutting "Jane" out, but if I kept doing the same thing, how could I expect different results? If I did not value my time, nor connect with people who can foster mutual friendships, then it's on me to say, "Hey, I'm not made to earn your trust, this is who I am!" It's a great feeling. I may upset some people since, I've been that go to rock for most of my life in all my relationships, but life gives us experiences as opportunities to grow.





xo
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Getting Past Rejection:


operation 6 pack activated
So, rejection...happens to the best of us, I've learnt there are some it never happens to.  Well, this post is dedicated to anyone who's ever been rejected.
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GET OVER IT!!!
So, there's a bloke I had my ♥ set on.  To be honest, there are a few.  But one decided to chirpse out of nowhere.  He's an attractive lad.  Tall, dark and handsome but I wasn't smitten at all.  He begins to e-mail me sweet comments.  This led to him asking me a plethora of questions, and giving me his "mobile since I don't have friends in the States."  Well, I am horrible at calling men, so I gave him mine thinking okay we never chat at work (I know, I know) have lunch or take breaks together, he's bored and I'm as well.  So, I get a sweet text, and over time they get progressively flirtatious.  Well, I'm no fool, I've been around boys all my life, I have all older brothers and my dad is the leader of the pack when it comes to dogs.  I don't take compliments literally, I read Steve Harvey's book at the request of my father.  So, what happened?  I fucked slipped up.  In my defense, the boy is sexy as hell and his imagination would make Jodeci blush.  WOW!
So, I raised his sexy and added my own twist.  The boy fell back hard.  WTF?  He talked a good game but when I called his bluff, he choked?!!!! I give him credit, he spoke a good game, pursued me (never happens) and seemed like a freak :)  I didn't want to be his girlfriend, friend with benefits, I was bold and said we couldn't be friends because I don't fuck my friends.  He changed at that point and things went south.  He was so up/down, black/white, hot/cold etc. So, I asked him if he was bipolar a Gemini.  I really wondered if he gave his phone/computer to someone and the person at work was him.  I'm laughing as I type, so this is good.  I never even asked him questions about himself, his situation, nothing.  I don't really care as I'm not into a boyfriend right now, too much going on and he knew this, as well as that I won't be in the USA long.  So what young 27 year old "Leo with Virgo Rising" <~whatever that means, doesn't want to shag?  This guy!
I know a lot of ladies would be grief stricken, but guess what?  It's a dude!  There are plenty more, and now I have some ideas on seducing the next guy as a result.  I'm flattered he felt he couldn't play me.  Maybe he's gay and thought, "I find her cute maybe...Oh no, she's way too much I thought she'd be easier."  He does have a lot of men who like to "train" him on assignments.  I am not hiding my head in shame, stuffing my face and watching chick flicks, I'm upping my game! My body is my date and it needs likes a lot of attention.  If I stay on track, I'll be fit by summer, six pack, toned and ready for fun!  It's no big deal.  I would have died a year ago, but since I've made a decision to live a little, I look at the positive.  I didn't die, I have his texts so he can't file a charge, he's not alpha enough and it was fun to have a distraction.  Dude might be married or catching feelings, it's all good. 
Your homework:  If you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, find someone you fancy and simply smile.  If you're bold say, "Hello."  You're not asking them for a date, marriage or their first born. (maybe dude had a kid???) It will make you feel good about yourself, I promise.  You must remember eye contact also.  If you have someone, read this I promise you won't regret it.

Stay sexy!
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I must live under a rock, because many of the "household names"  out there aren't familiar to me.  Enter "Kat Stacks Bitch!"  I heard that and thought it was a spoof of Rick James or something.  Unfortunately, the title is one of the blonde on the left photo courtesy of Google.  I am admittedly gobsmacked.  I don't have a heaven or hell to put anyone in, so I don't judge.  Well, this girl has some serious game.  I don't hate, envy or feel insecure about myself because of her.  She makes me think about things I try to forget.  You know the "one" girl/woman your man is curious about, then he gets sucked in and he gets caught?  She's that girl.  I cannot wrap my head around this soap opera.  She's not fake, what you see is what you get, and then some, but men.continue.to.fall... They fall hard.  If it wasn't enough to know about her previous scandals with well known artists, they keep calling, texting, tweeting her knowing, the minute they slip, which they will, her wrath will have them and possibly their career by the balls.  That cell phone in her hand?  It's worth millions!  If it could talk? That's fine, she speaks for it.  Why do men do that to themselves?  What is it with people that the worse something is for you, the more they have to have it? Even as she was blasting Soulja, she was being hit up by other men and their wives!  Really?  Did you not see this?  Seriously, I felt violated watching it, and I don't even know who this guy is.  Why do men do that?  *shrugs* I cannot understand it, but I guess Adam "it was that woman!" ran it first. 
I'm sad about it.  This girl doesn't have to look for men, they come to her.  From a female standpoint, I should be scared to death of women like her.  There are some lines I cannot cross in the bedroom.  I.just.can't.  But, judging by this interview for her it's not personal, it simply is.  She has learnt that men cannot be trusted, and doesn't see them as lovers, rather conquests.  This girl is everything I'm not.  I don't curse, look, party or play like her.  Does this mean my partner will, in the back of his mind, have some fantasy she can fulfill?  Sure, don't trip on her.  Well I didn't want to but I read about this woman who intentionally failed to tell men she had sex with she is HIV positive.  One of my biggest fears, is having that disease because my partner cheated and BOOM!
I don't care how her life plays out, she's grown and she lives with herself and her choices and accepts the price.  What worries me, is that there are so, so SO many young girls who want to be like her?  This girl was stripping at age 15 to survive! Why would anyone want that for themselves?  They have so much ahead of them and to have to live that sort of life is sad.  But it's not just the music industry, this happens everywhere.  For example, whilst perusing comments on social networking sites, if I had a pound for every girl who wrote, "XXX, you are my idol, I want to be like you, you inspire me," I'd never live long enough to spend it all and I can spend money without leaving the bed. 
It makes me wonder what's happening with kids and their parents.  Maybe we are just like other generations, but this is the one I'm in so, I need to up my game and bring solutions and not problems. Or, maybe it's just life.  People get sucked into things until they figure out on their own, those things are not what they appear and people aren't who they seem.
xoxo
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So...whilst ventilating last night, I sat and watched/listened to this show and, yet again a show with promise, disgusted me.  I resent the idea there is a formula to which one can ascertain who is "spouse" material over cocktails and conversation.  Seriously?  It's quite embarrassing if it's authentic, but if it's scripted made for shits and giggles, I get it, but there seem to be great acting or real emotions involved. 
Can you really "know" someone, in a few weeks, from meeting on a reality show?  Well enough to take a vow and mean it?


(cattle call looking for "love" seen her?)
So I'm watching these guys, mostly good looking if I'm honest, and they all remind me of "that guy" you know the one in school who just had to be cool? They usually massage their ego by insulting girls in front of their friends or saying/making obscene gestures to the "it girls" on campus.  I loathed walking past them. *sits in corner and rocks* They were the people who made my life hell and now want to add me on Facebook. 
So, these guys watch each other try to impress one (1) female. That's odd right there.  It's like an orgy or something I would feel uncomfortable watching live.  They lust over her, tell her all these compliments, and then tell the producer "audience" why guy "x" is wrong, but he is the "man for the job."  I felt like I was watching animals in the wild.  Even I would be uncomfortable with all of that ass kissing attention from so many blokes in one place.  What's more, she kisses them!  Seriously?  In front of the other pursuers?  Then goes on another date?  Come on son, this isn't really happening in 2010 is it?  I can see the conversation with their grand kids, better yet, they end up on the Real Losers Housewives of _________ in a few years.  Nice!

(no panel just instincts)
At least with the singing shows there is perspective of some sort.  Even drunk, you can always count on that one friend that says, "Gee...I dunno..." but here is this one girl and her herd of Prince Charming's who are ALL telling her what it takes to get her panties to hand them a rose.  Seriously, are they going to admit they have bad credit, a DUI, or abused their last girlfriend.  So you say, "They do background screenings and check all that."  Well, tell that to the family of the woman found dead by a contestant for the VH-1 show Megan wants a Millionaire.  Exactly!  It's one thing to meet someone online, which I've heard more good than bad, but a contestant on a reality show who's goal is to win?  Why would anyone need to go that route if they weren't daft or sick in the head?  Marriage is hard enough, but a time frame, some dates, kissing, etc?  Are you kidding me?  There have been some hits, but more misses.  I don't know if I like what this says about us as a society.  It's quite disturbing that we seem so desperate we will audition for a marital partner and the GLBT community cannot even get Proposition 8 passed.  One group is fighting for the right to marry and the other takes it for granted almost mockingly.

(til death do us part)

Don't get me wrong, I totally get it! We all want someone to grow old with.  Someone to share our good and bad, and be our best friend for life.  Who doesn't feel a bit sick when we see a couple that seems to compliment each other so well they make our teeth hurt?  It's sad how many lonely people there are in the world.  (Post to come) I don't know...this whole thing really upsets me.  There are so many amazing people in the world who are alone.  I, for one, can attest to how lonely the single life can be.  I manage to counter it buy making a list of all the things I can do without a partner (no one asking me where I am, fussing over my hair, weight, etc.) but I truly believe if God meant for us to be alone, he would not have take so much care into creating Eve for us to die alone.
I wish this show wasn't so generic, but I guess that's what we as a society are interested in...*Kanye shrug*

xoxo
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