Social Media: The Dark Side

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The other day I watched an episode of Love and Hip Hop. I don't know which city, but it still haunts me. A woman was discussing how her son was bullied online and coupled with depression, he took his own life. She started a foundation to help others, but it made me wish there was something that could be done. Thank God I am not subjected to that because, I'm too sensitive. I could not take that. 

Brings me to this singer from Dannity Kane called Dawn Richards. I saw a this photo, but it was on Instagram and all the comments were saying that she had self hate, she looked better before, and things along that line. 

What's funny is that, prior to her "change" all the comments were making fun of her appearance, her long face, big nose and masculine or "tranny" appearance. WTF? People can be such hypocrites. 

We jump on these social networks and scrutinize people for their appearance, under the guise of "they're in the public, they put themselves out there!" So, if I go outside my house, am I not putting myself "out there" to be criticized? Does that mean I should expect criticism? If so, then it goes both ways, but most people who say negative things to me online, don't have photographs. If they are serving the scrutiny, why not make yourself available as well?

I don't use the term "hater" because there are too many people who use that term even when feedback, may be accurate but the target feels otherwise.  If you take one thing from this, know that people who love themselves don't usually take the time to put others down. I have been around a lot of beautiful women, there have been nights after doing a gig I thought that God was having an off day when he decided to make me. My brother is prettier than me. I would have had a nose, chin, liposuction, breast implants if I had the money. Now, I'm past that, but that doesn't mean I don't still think some people lucked out on the genetic lottery. If I had done something different, it would say that the way I am isn't enough. Then, it would never be enough. What's more, I would be telling my family that the nose, that only I have, would be a mistake as opposed to a trait of my deceased grandmum. The arse I would have suctioned out was ugly as opposed to a feature many would like as much as I would like larger breasts.

What stopped me was something an Asian man told me at the beauty supply store. He said anything man made will eventually fail, things that are natural fall into place. You don't put a bulb in the sun, you don't make rain, why you want fake?" In his own words, he was saying that we are made how we are for a reason and as long as we change that we will always have to "maintain" our enhancement. Breasts collapse, lip injections go really wrong, and there is always a need to touch up or follow up. These young girls getting their nose, chest or bum done in their early 20s will have to maintain them for life. It's rare that noses don't grow during pregnancy, and that implants last over ten years, even if they do, they will fall after child birth. What's more, the moment one starts to make adjustments, the mental consequences can end in depression, body dysmorphic disorder and low self-esteem.

Here is the link to the story about Wacka Flacka's brother here.

If you or someone close to you struggles with depression, please take the time to let them know that help is available. There are several sources for help and remember there is no stigma to needing someone to lean on. 

xo