Beauty may only be skin deep but.....

Personalities don't take good pictures.
This was my Sunday. I was a right mess. Note to prospective makeup artists: When you are between jobs, pick up a hobby!
So next week I go back to work. I cannot wait. When I got a text today my face was like

 

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I spent Sunday binge watching American Reality Television. I am an avid TOWIE girl; however, I got a chance to watch all the trash television I wanted!

My downfall is not focusing on "reality"  so, of course none of it is scripted. At hour 3 I went from 

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to            

I had fun watching most episodes due to the over the top anecdotes; however, between the two Kim's (Zolciak and Kardashian), I was on an emotional roller coaster. It was funny to see the way some families interact. I come from a very rigid and structured family. We look like we have guns to our heads and if we even flinch "boom" so seeing a family joke and prank each other is foreign. I don't think I joke with anyone. I have dry humour and use a lot of sarcasm, but spanking my mum on the bum, or calling my father by his first name? Nope, that's the fastest way to find myself looking for my teeth. 

I think it all got too much when the Kimye wedding preparation was on. 

Kim is by far one of the most self absorbed, extremely narcissistic personalities; however, how many people can turn a sex tape into an empire? It seemed like God had favourites from my view.

1. Not one, not two but three weddings the last two being over the top? She wasn't even a virgin but these men, companies, stylists, et al pulled out their best for this woman.
2. Considering the "tape" how many men would have created a dream wedding and paid homage to his bride to the point of renting stadiums, historic buildings and have a room of people telling stories of how in ♥ your fiance is with you and all the professions and declarations of such for several years. 
3. Who needs friends, when you have a huge family? Seriously, how does one get bored or lonely when you have access to everything? Not to mention, the people in your circle have the same ability so there's no, "Girl, can we get a hook up or on the guest list, I didn't get my check?" or "Let me see if I can get a sitter..."
4. Cars, clothes, shoes, money, homes, food, friends=amazing!
5. You are famous for nothing. No creation of an app, no cure for cancer, no world championship anything, no graduating with a doctorate in neuroscience, not even a book.

Any other day, none of that bothers me. Something about yesterday had me over the top in my feelings. I celebrated by stuffing myself with watermelon and rice cakes. Eff me! I didn't even have ice cream or cronuts, it had to be whilst I had purged my flat from unhealthy foods and beverages. I didn't have any resources, not even for takeaway. 
I would have punched anyone who told me, "Beauty is only skin deep" or "Money can't buy happiness" and "All that glitters isn't gold." Let me say something. The Kims on their worst day, is better off than me emotionally, financially, and physically than me on my best. Kim Zolciak has a man that takes her, her wigs, her two teenagers, and more when I meet people who are constantly telling me all the things I don't need to hear. I know I don't need to wear make-up. Yes, I don't need fake hair because I have a lot of hair, but I like versatility. If I could just "get out of my shell" so easily, I would not being writing in this journal right now.
As much as we don't want to admit it, people like to see how the other half lives. Or, the 1% lives. People like attractive people. We like to look and inspect things that we find pleasing. I admit this, and it took me awhile to accept that things like youth, beauty, health, etc. It's funny how few magazines there are like MORE as opposed to Glamour, InStyle, etc. or the number of videographers who specialise in mature skin or are over 30 and act that way.
I have more thoughts on this, but for now, it's okay to be in that moment, but staying there is unhealthy and that will be an upcoming post!

xo