The Beauty Thesis

Truer words have never been spoken. Let's talk...If you have more than a dozen friends, you're being used. If you think some of your "friends" don't secretly harbor jealousy or envy, you are fooling yourself. The internet is great! You "meet" people by e-mail, texting, instant messaging, etc. and they can live in the same town or even a different country. What people don't realize and it happens far too often. People only show you who they want you to see online. People can create an identity and use it to gain your trust, your friendship and in many cases, your money. People have agendas and their are a lot of lonely and f*cked people in the world. Cruel? Let's give a few examples:

You Tuber is so sweet, so helpful, so nice and beautiful. Guess what? There are gurus who have more sh*t going on in their heads than in a 24 hour psychiatric ward. You Tubers may enjoy making videos, but it's because they like the responses and interaction at first, then ... yep. People get scammed all the time, so lesson? Stop thinking what you see is real! Some of them are, but stop with the idolizing, no one is perfect and they sure as hell aren't better than you!

You have a best friend, one in that dozen you call "friends." You tell her all about your problems with your boyfriend, she knows about your sex life, the fights, in fact you know more about him than he knows about his self. Guess what? Yep, they had sex. Of course they did! She secretly had a crush on him, and one day he asked her why you were being such a bitch. She saw an opportunity, played him by using you and "it just happened." No, it didn't. Get this, if your partner, lover, et al is all that, remember when you told her about the shopping spree, over time she's going to end up loving the same things about him you do!

Your co-worker "friend" who you can vent to about "work stuff" *face palm* Girl, if your game is on, she's waiting. Trust me, if you are a female at any job, if there are women there you have the ingredients for drama. It's not about if it happens, it's a matter of when. Why? If you read this blog you're a diva. You know that YOU are the most precious commodity. You go to work looking stellar, you smell good, makeup is fab, clothes are on point and you're rocking the heels. I'd hate on you too! Women don't work well together in an office environment. I dunno why, but eventually one of your "secrets" will get out and feelings get hurt and then all the "venting" you did was transferred to someone who can use it against you. Don't think because you work together you can trust each other, it's a game and times are hard and no one wants to be unemployed. Remember to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, talk to them, build alliances, but don't get caught up. Keep it short, sweet and simple, need to vent, journal, cry, but don't spill it!

Sorority Sisters are my "best friends." I shouldn't even have to waste my time on this. If you believe this you've been watching Lauren Conrad on the Hills. That girl through the word "best friend" around like a football. Dumb ass. The only one who she could trust was the one she left out the most. Whitney! Sororities are great ways to make friends for a long time, but not all of them are to be trusted even after pledging. You will eventually be successful and success breeds contempt. Do you think all of the shenanigans you pulled off is going to be a secret forever? One word: Facebook!

By now you're thinking "Oh my God this post was so negative, you don't know (insert name here)?" No, I don't. What I do know is that I have lived in a lot of countries, I've been "that" girl EVERYONE confides in. Boys, girls, bosses, co-workers, clergy, married, single, straight...The reason people tell me so much? I don't repeat it. I love secrets, it's a form of insurance for me. Sick? I know, but I learn a lot as well. What's more, I've been burned too. People I've known who "found out" insider information leaked it. Recovery is possible, but it's a bitch.

Just be careful. The friends who you lean on the most need to be acknowledged all the time. That one sided friendship is selfish. To have a friend be a friend, but don't be stupid. Stop sending money, gifts, etc. to people on line unless you've established they are bona fide and even then, go slow, we're human we all make mistakes. You know the friends you had and you f*cked up and quit talking to? Dumb ass! There is nothing that cannot be fixed by communicating. If you still think of them, they probably were a true friend. As we get older, it's not easy building friendships. We go off to college, graduate, marry, travel, find a new crowd or have kids. That's why there are so many messed up people in the world. Love truly heals a broken heart. A road trip with music and snacks? Cheaper than therapy, but stop wasting time on the wrong people.

xo

p.s. "A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying...'Damn, we fucked up!'" <~ so true