Keeping up with who?

Core Blimey!I don't understand people sometimes. The struggle is real. I don't know what to do with this blog. I like beauty, fashion etc. but my life has been about deeper issues later so I've been confused. I'm sort of scared to let go, but I am not into the "beauty culture" as its gotten so shady that it's not fun. It's a business to blog/vlog, so I feel like a twat. I enjoy writing, I really want to write so many stories, but this was just where I could document things I enjoy. I go through products like mad, and I wanted to be able to chart the progress of how my "X" reacted to product "Y" when I moved on. For example, I have forgotten that I bought something, stashed it away, and then repurchased it. I've also tossed out things like most of my As I Am products, but then I'll read reviews and think maybe I got a bad batch, and buy it again, but if I get the same result, then my hair, skin or whatever, doesn't like said product.
Now, the things happening in my life are so intense, that makeup is rare for me to experiment with. If it's not for a job, it's not happening for me. I'm not going out, I don't wear it to work,  and I'm tired of putting it on others and talking about it. I guess I'm coasting and need to get in the fast lane.
Now that I peek out and see what's up, it's all about the "show reel" and not keeping it real. I love looking at things on Instagram, but I wonder about people who feel the need to always take their picture. There's a woman who posts several photos of herself a day and people in her comments are fawning over her and admiring her life, but if her life is so great, why is she online and not living it? Same with the videos, no one wants to make videos to help others, it's all about numbers, sponsors, adverts, etc. and it's made people disgusted. The link in the description will be a novel with lists of codes and links to products under the guise of providing a link so you don't have to search for yourself.
It's so bad that if you post a link or mention a product, your guilty until proven innocent of having something sinister in your post. Well, unless you're me because I don't sit with them. I'm not about that life, I'm just musing over here not making a dime, or giving a uh-huh.
What is the point? Keeping up with the current custom would have me broke, depressed and competing with a facade. Trust me, if someone's life seems so great online, then they most likely aren't enjoying themselves offline. I don't blame them, it's an ego boost having people want to be you, but when the clothes, shoes, makeup, hair come off, you will find one vulnerable insecure person because the person the internet loves is not who they are when they're in their own skin.


#xo