Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
I always wanted to be the girl at the ball who walks down the staircase in a beautiful gown that brings people to a stand still, mouths wide open, eyes held open in shock and awe. There are some people who dream of their wedding day but that was more fear based anxiety inducing thoughts as opposed to a dream. As a makeup artist, I will confess that there are some brides who make me so green with envy that I stop and think for a minute but it soon vanishes once I pack up and go to my next venue.
lena dunhamIt's interesting to me that Lena Dunham chose to wear this ensemble to a highly watched, televised event. I have photos of the time Bjork wore a swan suit to an award ceremony but I thought it would not be her if she wore an Oscar de la Renta, or high profile designer ensemble to the event.  Back to Lena. What she did was brilliant. Granted, I have never been a fan of her based on the interviews I have observed; however, it seems that she keeps a close eye on things written about her and voices her concerns. If the news channel is correct, her hair colour was thought to be a wig, she addressed it quite well.
I was watching a video on Huffington, and my initial reaction was to ask why this group felt they had the ultimate authority on style? I'm sure if we gave each of them a once over, we could find something *cough weight, hair cough* about them that would qualify them for less than stellar feedback from critics but their job is to report so that we can feel better about ourselves if someone with something we don't have can have flaws.
Ironically, what this does is brings people to the forefront who are usually out shined by Lopez, Aniston, Jolie, etc. Following? Okay, prior to the show the wall of shamed celebrities were not familiar to me other than Lena. The reason she is familiar is due to the Chescalocs issue. I don't have cable but the discuss was on my social media feed.
I saw the women on several covers in the queue at the chemist and listened to a tall older woman with a thick German accent talking to a young woman about the red carpet. She looked in my direction and seemed embarrassed but apologised for her inability to decide which glossy to take. I smiled back and told her I wasn't in a rush. Hell, if it brings her a bit of happiness to chat about dresses, who am I to judge?
When I left it dawned on me that although people were speaking about their supposed "poor choice" in wardrobe, people were talking about them more than they were Beyonce's performance the prior evening. They say there's no such thing as bad press, and I didn't agree with that. Anything that was negative with a person attached to it surely can't be good. I was obviously wrong. Here stood a diverse set of women in the queue talking about people we do not know on a personal level rather than about who won. A week on, and I still don't know who won. But, I did look at some of the people who others took umbrage in their style choice.
Genius! All those attendees who starved, spent extra time getting fit in the gym, hired trainers, chefs, makeup artists, hair stylists, nail technicians, and so on may have gotten a nod for their effort, but I think if one spent zero time in the preliminary stage trying to get in shape, select the perfect designer who presented the right ensemble, with the hair, jewellery, etc. and just threw on a tent, there would be a lot less stress, but they would still get publicity. What's more, when you raise the bar, you set yourself up. When you start from the top, you set your expectation so high that anytime you are less than your best, all you get is criticism.
I call it self preservation or deflection. If I own my flaws and put them out there first, you can't hold the power. If I've acknowledged or am seen as a hot mess, anytime I clean up, I'll be commended as opposed to those, "Oh my she usually looks so smart, what happened?"
I think when we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, we give the impression that our lives are as picture perfect as our well preened appearance.
I'm thick, but today's lesson was proof to me that no matter what we do to impress others, even when it's good and we get it right, there will be those days where we display our human side. The side that is just like everyone else. We can't set a standard that is so unrealistic and expect to remain on that pedestal. I reckon that's why so many people criticise themselves. When we know what we have achieved, we expect to always do so. That's not possible. We age, gain or lose weight and our bodies don't do work at 60 the way it did at 40 or even, 20 which is why we have to give ourselves a break.

xo


I have such mixed views on today's post.  I am sitting here and really thinking about blogging and it's funny that last evening I was watching someone promote their blog and the word alone sounds disgusting.  But, I was thinking, this person follows zero bloggers, has nearly 150,000 video subscribers, follows zero Twitterers and responds to....wait for it....zero comments.  Makes sense, her job is to earn a living via social networking and it is a lot of work gaining, maintaining and evolving with such a high status on the web.
So, I thought about my purpose.  I don't know what it is, so I stumbled upon a lovely videographer on ...YouTube (trying to quit the addiction) and she's amazing.
So, unfortunately, I am not using my own material to engage the few followers I have.  But, only part of my purposed for blogging is having followers, I am never going to be "that Blog" and thank the good Lord for that, but I do love the opportunity to learn and read other blogs.  They are so personal and I learn more there and at MUA than I do on any other forum. 
Shira J. is so cool!  I have such a love for her channel, though she's in dispose with her "baby daddy" right now.  Why?  She makes me think, makes me laugh, gets me to not take myself so serious and I wish I were more like her.  Without sounding stalkerish, I wish I had a friend like her I could interact with. I have always been a free thinker and love dialogue from people of all backgrounds.  My greatest compliment was when and Aryan (sp) Brother told me he would be seen at the mall with me.  He is who he is, but a black girl who took an interest in why he chose to be in the brotherhood and listened to his view whilst not judging him.  He's quite smart, and I did learn something from him whether I agreed with him or not.
Right, Shira J.  She is the person I aim to be in terms of self confidence, esteem and the ability to not care what people think.  Sure, I say I don't care about others' opinion of me, but that's rubbish.  In my brain it hurts when people are mean spirited, judgmental, and say hurtful things to or about me.  Shira has been there and done that, but she wants to help others.  So many people are doing things under the guise of "helping others" but there is a "what's in it for me after taste."  I respect the ones who admit it.  I want more viewers so I can be a partner and have some recognition and maybe money or perks in the process.  Or, I want to get a makeup line, be sponsored, get free stuff et. al.  Shira doesn't do that.  In addition, she addresses so many topics of interest, I don't know how she stays focused (at times she doesn't) but you can clearly see she is having fun, yet very passionate about people. 
Her channel has something for everyone.  I thought of Susan Powter when I watched her because Susan's blog talk radio personality is similar.  Susan is about not being stupid and Shira is about "Get Smart."  Her channel is about: spirituality, beauty, hair, nails, style, relationships, careers, education, dating, family, self esteem, race, gender, disabilities, and more.  She doesn't have a "studio" with high tech cameras, lighting, editing and so on.  She turns the camera on and the fun begins.  SugarFreeTV is an acquired taste.  You do have to have an openmind.  I included the clip I watched a few times.  She will ask the questions, and answer them, and the questions you think she won't (Shira, my hair doesn't grow, I have a nub, I don't have your hair texture) she has your back and will address it.  It's as if she's reading your mind.  What's more, she enjoys herself and it comes across and if the world were more sugar free we wouldn't have soldiers in other countries fighting but I digress. Get smart! :)

xoxo

SugarFreeTV

by on 11:22 AM
I have such mixed views on today's post.  I am sitting here and really thinking about blogging and it's funny that last evening...

I have never been one to comprehend mean spirited people. Even as a child, I never understood when kids would pick on other kids. When the kid was me, I felt it was because of the usual. Black, chubby, female, dumb, new kid, and so on.
What I am learning as an adult is that those people truly never grew up. The names and faces are different but the behavior is the same.
This is a topic I really thought I would never address. I think people use the term "hater" far too often. I get that not everyone will like what I say, how I look or how I dress. I see the stares, the rolled eyes and it really doesn't affect the way I choose to dress. What I don't understand is when people take it to a graduated level. I'm talking the level of trying to get you fired, starting rumours about you or your family and even spreading lies. That can only be called hate, I can't think of any reason a person would go for the jugular of another, especially if they don't know them.
I visit a few forums to get ideas on clothing, style, beauty et al. I like to research and sometimes interact with other members. What I don't understand is when a member gets an attitude towards another member on a forum. Most times I find it funny. I actually like some of the more aggressive boards because those people can cut you with their tongue and not miss a beat. In addition, there are some quite intelligent people who post and it's quite refreshing to learn something new each day.
I even have to look within myself at times, as there is a woman, much older than me, married with a son and she goes out of her way to make me and others try to feel small. Why? I can honestly say she lives a sheltered life. Her husband works which allows her to be online all day (another topic for another post). She thinks her husband is the sun and moon and will not hesitate for a moment to express her opinion about anything and everything.
Now, I could blast her @ss and it would be an enormous weight off my shoulders. I know I would have her in tears not to mention rethinking some of the decisions she makes in her life. The point is, I don't. I don't say a word. She responded to me in a post, and I gave her a pass. I could have made her look small, pathetic, and uneducated not to mention give her a reason to not trust her younger husband, but I shook it off. That's what people need to learn to do with "haters." You must shake them off. Giving power to people who have no impact on your day to day life is a waste of energy. If they are people you must have contact with, keep it brief and keep it moving. Your hater(s) will begrudge you and begin the next level of attack but raise your security level and be prepared for the disaster. In time, he/she will get bored and move on to the next victim. But you have to let them go. Trust me, they will try to provoke, stir and wreak havoc on you, but do not let them steal your joy.
You answer to one person and you have to live with yourself, what happens to us and around us we have no control over, but what we do about it is our responsibility. Let them hate, but just do you. In time, you will feel pity on them. While they're busy plotting, you're busy living.

Roaring along


B.P.

Hello Beautiful,
I have been perusing many of the forums, blogs, and YouTube channels and I am really finding something on my heart cherubs. In all of this talk about the best mascara, the best foundation, and the next line of cosmetic trends and fashions for spring, I realize my goal has NEVER been to promote the ideology that people are not okay as they are. I believe it's great to purchase bath oils, fragrance, shoes, cosmetics, et al. but I don't believe people need to be anymore than their best self. So, this is a bit of a disclaimer for this blog.
In addition, I'm not a popular blogger, YouTuber, makeup artist etc., on the web, but I know the person I am in my daily life and the goal I have for myself and others, and it has to do with looking, feeling and obtaining your best. I don't care if I have a huge amount of buzz, but I really do care about promoting self esteem.
I guess the panther is needing to unburden her heart as I think of the next stage of where I want the things I speak, promote or represent to be perceived. My hope is not for subscribers, but I want to create a network of people, primarily women as that is what I understand, who can share their stories, lift one another up, and be a support system for each other.

Love yourself and love others,



B.P.
by on 10:25 AM
Hello Beautiful, I have been perusing many of the forums, blogs, and YouTube channels and I am really finding something on my heart cherubs....