Sunday, October 5, 2014

YouTube: The Darkside

I hate to sound like I don't care, but it's a bit annoying to hear about another YouTube personality or ten, that have broken the trust of their followings. So now that people are anxiously awaiting the next move from #TeamJason, #TeamLaci, and #TeamSam, let's look at the big picture. I bet before I finish this sentence several hundred tweets, a dozen or so videos and multiple, including this one here, posts will be written about the "latest" hot mess some social media star has gotten into.
I don't pick sides, but I damn sure don't condone sexual assault of any kind on any gender.
Rather than talk about what happened as well as some things that may have happened just not been found out, let's discuss what to do about this.
It should not be necessary to educate anyone over age five that you "don't touch" without permission. I guess my mum made it crystal clear when at the stores, if I even reached toward an item, her stare alone was enough. When I was a training coordinator for a legal office, they had mandatory trainings, one of which being sexual harassment. Attorneys don't need to be trained for that? Yes! Because if a woman files a claim, the company wants to eliminate itself from any litigation so they have their arse covered. "We told you, you acted, we're out of this."
I don't know what shocks me more, the level of loyalty people have for their idols or the things they are willing to do to not make them upset. I'm a grown woman, I get the pressure to give in or feel obligated in the "moment" and realise that what occurred didn't feel right. There's nothing worse than feeling unrequited emotions by someone you adore, and posed as someone who felt the same in order to get something and then throw you out like stale Chinese food.
Why isn't this discussed at the executive level? Are their managers, agents, publicists not putting clauses in their contracts? Is Google not afraid of the potential lawsuits which may involve them based on the current allegations?
I know people are concerned about the victims, but is there a committee set forth to help them? Victims advocacy is crucial at a time like this, not only to educate, but prevention and awareness. The victims have a long, scary, and intense journey ahead of them.
They will be getting exams, tested for STIs, giving statements, signing forms, getting direction from lawyers, family, law enforcement, even the perpetrator. What's more, who will be with them in the times that they feel alone, scared and that they are somehow at fault? Who can they look at in a courtroom that will simply nod in affirming they are their for support and that he/she is doing the right thing? What about all the harassment from this person(s) peers or supporters? Who will let them know they aren't alone not only with words but actions?
It's all well and good to offer support during the height of the scandal but when people move on until the next exposure occurs, who is going to continue to offer support?
I hate to say that this won't be the last and that people have learned from this and we can expect better; however, I'm sure someone is getting a direct message right now.
Young people given the spotlight, lots of money and access to things they never dreamed of in a short span is a set up. Many of the people who are huge in social media, are admitted nerds who had no friends or suffer from mental illnesses that compromised their social skills greatly. They go from virtual no one to internet stardom followed by a rabid fandom in rapid succession.
I hope that the promises of support and the call to action will be heard. I offered support to as many creators possible and have heard nothing. Maybe that is because they are busy tending to those who are taking them up on their offer of help during this difficult time.

xo

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Beauty may only be skin deep but.....







Personalities don't take good pictures.
This was my Sunday. I was a right mess. Note to prospective makeup artists: When you are between jobs, pick up a hobby!
So next week I go back to work. I cannot wait. When I got a text today my face was like
 





  

I spent Sunday binge watching American Reality Television. I am an avid TOWIE girl; however, I got a chance to watch all the trash television I wanted!
My downfall is not focusing on "reality"  so, of course none of it is scripted. At hour 3 I went from 


to            


I had fun watching most episodes due to the over the top anecdotes; however, between the two Kim's (Zolciak and Kardashian), I was on an emotional roller coaster. It was funny to see the way some families interact. I come from a very rigid and structured family. We look like we have guns to our heads and if we even flinch "boom" so seeing a family joke and prank each other is foreign. I don't think I joke with anyone. I have dry humour and use a lot of sarcasm, but spanking my mum on the bum, or calling my father by his first name? Nope, that's the fastest way to find myself looking for my teeth. 
I think it all got too much when the Kimye wedding preparation was on. 
Kim is by far one of the most self absorbed, extremely narcissistic personalities; however, how many people can turn a sex tape into an empire? It seemed like God had favourites from my view.
  1. Not one, not two but three weddings the last two being over the top? She wasn't even a virgin but these men, companies, stylists, et al pulled out their best for this woman.
  2. Considering the "tape" how many men would have created a dream wedding and paid homage to his bride to the point of renting stadiums, historic buildings and have a room of people telling stories of how in ♥ your fiance is with you and all the professions and declarations of such for several years. 
  3. Who needs friends, when you have a huge family? Seriously, how does one get bored or lonely when you have access to everything? Not to mention, the people in your circle have the same ability so there's no, "Girl, can we get a hook up or on the guest list, I didn't get my check?" or "Let me see if I can get a sitter..."
  4. Cars, clothes, shoes, money, homes, food, friends=amazing!
  5. You are famous for nothing. No creation of an app, no cure for cancer, no world championship anything, no graduating with a doctorate in neuroscience, not even a book.
Any other day, none of that bothers me. Something about yesterday had me over the top in my feelings. I celebrated by stuffing myself with watermelon and rice cakes. Eff me! I didn't even have ice cream or cronuts, it had to be whilst I had purged my flat from unhealthy foods and beverages. I didn't have any resources, not even for takeaway. 
I would have punched anyone who told me, "Beauty is only skin deep" or "Money can't buy happiness" and "All that glitters isn't gold." Let me say something. The Kims on their worst day, is better off than me emotionally, financially, and physically than me on my best. Kim Zolciak has a man that takes her, her wigs, her two teenagers, and more when I meet people who are constantly telling me all the things I don't need to hear. I know I don't need to wear make-up. Yes, I don't need fake hair because I have a lot of hair, but I like versatility. If I could just "get out of my shell" so easily, I would not being writing in this journal right now.
As much as we don't want to admit it, people like to see how the other half lives. Or, the 1% lives. People like attractive people. We like to look and inspect things that we find pleasing. I admit this, and it took me awhile to accept that things like youth, beauty, health, etc. It's funny how few magazines there are like MORE as opposed to Glamour, InStyle, etc. or the number of videographers who specialise in mature skin or are over 30 and act that way.
I have more thoughts on this, but for now, it's okay to be in that moment, but staying there is unhealthy and that will be an upcoming post!

xo

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Why it's best to be on the "Worst Dressed" list

I always wanted to be the girl at the ball who walks down the staircase in a beautiful gown that brings people to a stand still, mouths wide open, eyes held open in shock and awe. There are some people who dream of their wedding day but that was more fear based anxiety inducing thoughts as opposed to a dream. As a makeup artist, I will confess that there are some brides who make me so green with envy that I stop and think for a minute but it soon vanishes once I pack up and go to my next venue.
lena dunhamIt's interesting to me that Lena Dunham chose to wear this ensemble to a highly watched, televised event. I have photos of the time Bjork wore a swan suit to an award ceremony but I thought it would not be her if she wore an Oscar de la Renta, or high profile designer ensemble to the event.  Back to Lena. What she did was brilliant. Granted, I have never been a fan of her based on the interviews I have observed; however, it seems that she keeps a close eye on things written about her and voices her concerns. If the news channel is correct, her hair colour was thought to be a wig, she addressed it quite well.
I was watching a video on Huffington, and my initial reaction was to ask why this group felt they had the ultimate authority on style? I'm sure if we gave each of them a once over, we could find something *cough weight, hair cough* about them that would qualify them for less than stellar feedback from critics but their job is to report so that we can feel better about ourselves if someone with something we don't have can have flaws.
Ironically, what this does is brings people to the forefront who are usually out shined by Lopez, Aniston, Jolie, etc. Following? Okay, prior to the show the wall of shamed celebrities were not familiar to me other than Lena. The reason she is familiar is due to the Chescalocs issue. I don't have cable but the discuss was on my social media feed.
I saw the women on several covers in the queue at the chemist and listened to a tall older woman with a thick German accent talking to a young woman about the red carpet. She looked in my direction and seemed embarrassed but apologised for her inability to decide which glossy to take. I smiled back and told her I wasn't in a rush. Hell, if it brings her a bit of happiness to chat about dresses, who am I to judge?
When I left it dawned on me that although people were speaking about their supposed "poor choice" in wardrobe, people were talking about them more than they were Beyonce's performance the prior evening. They say there's no such thing as bad press, and I didn't agree with that. Anything that was negative with a person attached to it surely can't be good. I was obviously wrong. Here stood a diverse set of women in the queue talking about people we do not know on a personal level rather than about who won. A week on, and I still don't know who won. But, I did look at some of the people who others took umbrage in their style choice.
Genius! All those attendees who starved, spent extra time getting fit in the gym, hired trainers, chefs, makeup artists, hair stylists, nail technicians, and so on may have gotten a nod for their effort, but I think if one spent zero time in the preliminary stage trying to get in shape, select the perfect designer who presented the right ensemble, with the hair, jewellery, etc. and just threw on a tent, there would be a lot less stress, but they would still get publicity. What's more, when you raise the bar, you set yourself up. When you start from the top, you set your expectation so high that anytime you are less than your best, all you get is criticism.
I call it self preservation or deflection. If I own my flaws and put them out there first, you can't hold the power. If I've acknowledged or am seen as a hot mess, anytime I clean up, I'll be commended as opposed to those, "Oh my she usually looks so smart, what happened?"
I think when we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect, we give the impression that our lives are as picture perfect as our well preened appearance.
I'm thick, but today's lesson was proof to me that no matter what we do to impress others, even when it's good and we get it right, there will be those days where we display our human side. The side that is just like everyone else. We can't set a standard that is so unrealistic and expect to remain on that pedestal. I reckon that's why so many people criticise themselves. When we know what we have achieved, we expect to always do so. That's not possible. We age, gain or lose weight and our bodies don't do work at 60 the way it did at 40 or even, 20 which is why we have to give ourselves a break.

xo