Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Anybody Home?

Here we go again...I'm going to just post "ditto" when this happens. I don't like to blog like's like being in a cult. The level of animosity, cattiness and backstabbing I see at events makes me less interested in sitting down and having fun posting photos of all the cool goodies.
Not only that, I'm really struggling with being in the beauty field now that I'm a bona fide adult. I will always enjoy primping, and looking at magazines for inspiration but when I look at social interest I feel vain, egotistical and .... UGLY!
I never knew I was unattractive until I saw all these beautiful women who were giving advice on how to be confident, how to look good when you're sick, how to pose for pictures and I don't feel comfortable posting on Instagram because I don't use all the filters so I see every single flaw. Each flaw that I don't really focus on is x1000.
I like to practice different looks and techniques to do hair, nails, eyeliner, and diys, but posting them feels vain. It feels like I'm saying "Look at me aren't I pretty?" but how do you enjoy writing about beauty and share your experience if you can't get past it?
Honestly, it's hard to feel good when your world is falling apart. I guess I just have to force myself to do it anyway, so hopefully, you will join me on this journey of getting out of our comfort zone! We got this! Right?

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Keeping up with who?

Core Blimey!I don't understand people sometimes. The struggle is real. I don't know what to do with this blog. I like beauty, fashion etc. but my life has been about deeper issues later so I've been confused. I'm sort of scared to let go, but I am not into the "beauty culture" as its gotten so shady that it's not fun. It's a business to blog/vlog, so I feel like a twat. I enjoy writing, I really want to write so many stories, but this was just where I could document things I enjoy. I go through products like mad, and I wanted to be able to chart the progress of how my "X" reacted to product "Y" when I moved on. For example, I have forgotten that I bought something, stashed it away, and then repurchased it. I've also tossed out things like most of my As I Am products, but then I'll read reviews and think maybe I got a bad batch, and buy it again, but if I get the same result, then my hair, skin or whatever, doesn't like said product.
Now, the things happening in my life are so intense, that makeup is rare for me to experiment with. If it's not for a job, it's not happening for me. I'm not going out, I don't wear it to work,  and I'm tired of putting it on others and talking about it. I guess I'm coasting and need to get in the fast lane.
Now that I peek out and see what's up, it's all about the "show reel" and not keeping it real. I love looking at things on Instagram, but I wonder about people who feel the need to always take their picture. There's a woman who posts several photos of herself a day and people in her comments are fawning over her and admiring her life, but if her life is so great, why is she online and not living it? Same with the videos, no one wants to make videos to help others, it's all about numbers, sponsors, adverts, etc. and it's made people disgusted. The link in the description will be a novel with lists of codes and links to products under the guise of providing a link so you don't have to search for yourself.
It's so bad that if you post a link or mention a product, your guilty until proven innocent of having something sinister in your post. Well, unless you're me because I don't sit with them. I'm not about that life, I'm just musing over here not making a dime, or giving a uh-huh.
What is the point? Keeping up with the current custom would have me broke, depressed and competing with a facade. Trust me, if someone's life seems so great online, then they most likely aren't enjoying themselves offline. I don't blame them, it's an ego boost having people want to be you, but when the clothes, shoes, makeup, hair come off, you will find one vulnerable insecure person because the person the internet loves is not who they are when they're in their own skin.


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Beauty: Aging Gracefully

I've been watching Celebrity Big Brother, UK and there is a woman called Alicia Douvall and she really made me think.I look at her and wonder if she sees what I see. I see a woman who can barely move her face and whose eyes seemed surprised as a result of extreme cosmetic procedures. It made me really think when she revealed she had 18 breast augmentations and still needed and wanted more work done.
I wanted lipo for my thighs, and breasts but in the time it took for me to gather the courage, I realised that I was being selfish. Right now there is a woman who's just been told she has breast cancer and I'm worried about looking perky whilst naked. My breasts are small and they don't sit like they used to but I'm getting older every day, I've lost and gained weight and the elasticity in my skin has played a major factor in my flabby bits. If saggy breasts, loose skin and all my other flaws are my greatest problems, I am very blessed and shall quit whilst I am ahead. Sure I may not attract a celebrity or even someone physically good looking, but in the experiences I have had, high profile people and I don't work. All that glitters isn't gold and I would take a simple, humble relationship with comforts of simplicity, than the "you're only dating them because..." That's another post.
What worried me, was when Alicia stated she could not live without her breast implants. She wants to walk in a room and have people want to "f*ck her" rather than be powerful and "fear her" and that is really sad. She has to realise she's more than that; however, have you watched YouTube videos? The beauty gurus used to speak about confidence, embracing flaws, and using makeup to create new looks and feel pretty. Now there are so many young vloggers who are having several cosmetic procedures such as: nose breast, fillers, Botox, and rhinoplasty. There are predominately young gurus under age 30 and have a following of girls as young as ten who look up to them. It's not their job to parent other people's children, but it's hypocritical to promote natural beauty, embracing imperfections and partake in these procedures. If you are blessed with a platform where others are stating, "you're my role model" because you accept your flaws but in reality, you don't it's not fair to misguide others. There's no shame in owning your flaws and having cosmetic procedures, sharing that helps prevent deceit. It's fine to say imperfections are a  part of life, but I had a procedure on my nose because I had been telling myself I was okay with it, but in reality each day it makes me feel self conscious. It isn't going to make me perfect, but I want to feel less preoccupied about my nose when meeting people or having interviews and not feeling like my nose is the focal point. I guess that women are our worst critics. We expect others to accept themselves but we comment on their flaws to feel relate-able. Then when they alter their appearance we call foul.
We can't stop ourselves from aging; but, the duck lips, frozen face, and encapsulated breasts make the process  more difficult. It seems that it becomes its own addiction and women can't see how they really look. Think about what Big Ang would look like if she left herself alone.
Accepting flaws still has to be done in order to prevent this obsession from becoming a lifestyle. Not one of these women seeking fuller lips have obtained that Angelina Jolie bee stung lip. The more one aims at perfections the further their goal as it's a moving target. All the procedures in the world won't help until one accepts they will never be perfect and we all get old if we're blessed to live long enough.