Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Thin Shaming? Fat Shaming? Shame on you...

I'm not sure when the tide turned but this afternoon was the last time I sat idly by whilst listening to the men in my office make jokes at the expense of women's bodies. I've had my weight struggles like most, and I don't blame the media, and I don't blame my parents or anyone else. Society may use it's voice to perpetuate a "standard" but that doesn't mean I have to own it.
There was a time when we used to tease girls for having a few extra pounds. Before Jennifer Lopez and Sir Mix-A-Lot, it was a sin to have a big ass. Bubble butt, lard ass, fat bottomed and more were names to describe the plight of the pear shaped woman. Fast forward to 2012 and women were spending their last dime to get silicone injections, the Brazilian Butt Lift became the new leader for health and fitness DVDs and butt pads were the new chicken filet in the women's intimate department.
So my over testosterone filled brethren had a convo like this at lunch:
Female: "I shouldn't indulge in this but I have cheat days so what the heck!"  Accepts homemade cookie.
Male 1: "No one wants a bone, but a dog"
Male 2: "And they bury it when they're done!"
Group: Erupts into laughter
Well, let me get this clear, REAL WOMEN HAVE VAGINAS.  I am not versed on transsexualism so I will include them in the women per what knowledge I do have.
I get that for years people have made evil jokes and bullied others for being over the target BMI for their stats, but that doesn't mean we should suddenly target the opposite end. Bottom line? No one has a right to shame anyone. It infuriates me that anyone is picked on for their appearance including myself. Why is it a struggle to truly give 100% to something "beauty, makeup, fashion" that I truly enjoy online? I am not thick skinned enough to put myself through having the world attack me for flaws I didn't ask for. If I could wave a wand, I'd do something about the things, which I'll not point out, that I wish were different, but I am not in that place. I believe if I did anything cosmetic I would never stop. I would wind up looking like those women on telly who have had so much Botox, fillers, and augmentations that the true essence of their beauty got lost. When you aim at perfection, you aim at a moving target because you never get it.
I happen to be on the thin side of the spectrum at the moment, but that can change. You know what else can change? Society's definition. Saying that men don't like "Skinny Penny's because you have to shake the sheets to find them," might be cute, but when I was heavier, I never felt like I was better than those who are thin. To be honest, I wanted to be thin in spite of how often I said I loved my curves and bandwagoned the Real Beauty movement. We need to stop encouraging people to use women as objects for reproduction or fawning purposes. How often do we tell men how inadequate they are for not looking like this?