Saturday, May 10, 2014

Online Dating: Men are doing it all Wrong!

I was perusing anonline dating website that many of my girlfriends talk about. I didn't make a profile, but "Ah heck, why not take a peek?" A few pages in and now I see why so many people are single. I didn't look at the women, but a fair bit of men are shooting themselves in the foot. I talked to one of my girlfriends; she's tall, blonde, blue eyes, and cute figure. She told me it was a "numbers game" and for every 100 there might be 1 catch. Those are odds I don't have time for and I think I may be a bit too set in my ways. She met some chap for lunch and game back to work un-enthused. She stated he was nice enough but looked nothing like his photo. I asked her if she told him that and she said she didn't think it was her place. So I asked her if she ever wondered why she never got a call after the first date before. Exactly! He thinks he had a good date, and now he won't get a second but no one tells him why.  He was smart to select a good photo, but he had to know that the image he projected and the image who showed up. How does one explain that? If he had a good friend, or maybe a sister, would she tell him? It's as simple as, "Hey, you haven't been taking care of yourself. How about we join a gym? Or, maybe we need to find some clothes that show off your "insert asset here"? Don't get me wrong but if he's happy how he is, he's got to sell that guy not the guy he used to be.
How men view online dating...

What women view online dating as..

When men are searching personal ads, a vast majority are just seeing what's out there. Many are married, some in serious relationships, and others want to see if they "still got it." Women are looking for a potential partner. Not that the odds are not in women's favour, but I truly think there is a better pool of eligible women in comparison to men. I can think of five things men do wrong in their profiles. Let's start with the first. The picture.
  1. Don't wear sunglasses, women like to look at a man's eyes. Ever hear that eyes are the windows to the soul? You look shady as hell wearing sunglasses to attract someone! It's borderline douchey too.
  2.  Don't take have a female, your dog, a bass fish, your mom, sister, friend in the frame at all. No matter who she is, it's going to be seen as deceit or demented. What single guy takes a picture with his sister and uses it for a dating profile? Why do you need your dog, or a fish to show you are mufti-faceted? Save something to talk about later. When you have to say which one you are in the photo, you are rolling the dice. What if she fancies your friend more than you? 
  3. Smile and make sure it's a head shot. When you are so far back that you have to squint, it's easier to just move to the next profile. It's all about appearance at this point. What you put out is what you attract. 
  4. No d*ck pics!  No "send me a pic" either. You want a one night stand, there are places for that, don't waste someone's time if you just want someone to get you off. It's also low class so just find a one night stand on a site for that. Don't ever, ever, ask for a woman to send you a provocative photo. Why should she? No one knows who you are so why should she send you a picture of her goods? Maybe if you're "insert celebrity here" she might, but your Joe Citizen from the personals. Delete!
  5. If you think a girl is attractive, has potential or is somewhat interesting, initiate contact. Don't simply add her to your favourites, wink, or send one or two words "hey." Act like you would if she were on the train, or you saw her in person and compliment her. 
I don't know why these basic things aren't stated more often. I see these same errors regardless of the dating site but it seems obvious. The only thing there is to go on is a photo and a header. There are hundreds of singles, so trying to stand out among others. It's a lot like sending out resumes. You are selling yourself here, and no one knows you better than you, so sell who you are, not who you want people to think you are. That brings on its own problems. I promise if you take those few pointers your dating life will change for the better.