Sunday, November 28, 2010

Healing a broken heart ♥

So, each year we make plans to spend time with our family and loved ones when we get blindsided. "Thing's aren't working.  It's not you..."
Is cupid stupid or does he have a bad aim? Seriously!  I was researching and according to Facebook stats now is the time most people update their status to reflect a break up.  I have been through a few and whether it's an end of a relationship with a partner, or your best friend, it sucks.  It's hard to put into words the ache, the emptiness and lethargy that one feels.
I was so pathetic, I spent a week laying down looking at the telly box.  I didn't want to see or speak to anyone.  I kept researching how long it would take to go away.  I asked friends and all I got was "time, it takes time." That wasn't what I wanted to hear at all.  It felt condescending.  Especially if it came from someone in a relationship.  Relationships aren't easy but when things are "over" it feels like a part of you dies.  In one sense, it does. The hard part is starting over.  The worst thing you can do do yourself is to compare yourself or take it personal.  Just remember compare leads to despair.  It's very difficult not to compare ourselves to others when there are so many beautiful women in the world, but remember, all that glitters isn't gold.  Just because things look good doesn't mean they're good for you.
It's okay to cry.  Mourn if you have to but don't get stuck.  Your mind will play tricks on you.  Break ups happen and they never get easier, but remember it happens to the best of us.  Shall I give you examples:

Merry Christmas Tony!
Happened to America's Sweetheart

Beautiful but happened to her
 Obviously there are many, many more women who, for whatever reason, were blindsided by a breakup. I could add so many more men (and women) easily.  If you think it has to do with looks, you could not be more wrong.  I don't think anyone really knows why but sometimes people grow apart, sometimes infidelity happens, other times, it's simply happens and we don't know why.  Don't get stuck in the "Why?"  It will make you insane, depressed and there's not one answer.  I remember turning to books, psychics, clergymen, etc. to find out why men are able to change their mind and seemingly so easily.  So, what can I suggest?  Glad you asked.

  1. Make a routine and stick to it!  You may want to sleep. lay on the couch and avoid people, but it won't help you.  Get a schedule and write down everything you need to do and do it.  Including eating, if you are one who overeats, write a food plan and stick to it part of getting healthy is being happy.
  2. Reinvent yourself!  Look through some magazines and find a hairstyle or get a facial, makeover or a manicure and pedicure.  Try something new with your clothing, add accessories, have fun.
  3. Get a hobby!  It's good to journal and deal with your feelings, but what about volunteering, meetup, take a class, try yoga.
  4. Make new friends!  Of course you shouldn't have to find new friends, but do you really want to hear about what's going on with your ex?  It will prevent some awkwardness for both of you.  The friends you and your ex spent so much time with will appreciate the space as they too get past the initial shock. Plus, when they see you, imagine what they'll tell the ex factor?
  5. Take a trip!  It can be as simple as a road trip, lunch, and a camera or a flight to someplace you've always wanted to see. 
Of course none of this will make the pain go away, but breakups are something we all deal with, and I feel many people don't address it without bashing the ex factor.  Sure, you want to sock him/her or call and curse them about, but don't give them that much credit.  The best revenge is to live your life happy, even if it's without them.  You're strong, you can get through this, and they made room for the person you were meant to be with.

Sadly, the truth is, it takes time.  I hated hearing it, but looking back, one day the pain was less, then the ache was less intense, and before you know it, you feel the loss, but the pain is gone and you start to get back on your feet.  I know this doesn't fix anything, but give yourself a break.


Sunday, November 21, 2010

Rant: Makeup Forever

Dear Makeup Forever:

I'm so mad at MAKEUP FOREVER!  I feel like I've had a bad breakup...I haven't shut up about it, I bitched whined all week, and still no joy!
Back story:
I have been using Makeup Forever prior to the YouTube hype.  Back in early 2001, it was before the World Trade bombings though as I didn't have the same issues flying.  Anyway, I belonged to a plethora of makeup communities such as: livejournal, specktra, MUT, MM, myspace, MUA and more.  I heard about MUFE from them, but it was underground.  To be honest, I thought it to be a unicorn.  Remember when only a few people had Illamasqua.  Other artists were boycotting MAC, and this would be another alternative.  Like MAC, this was a line for artists in film, theatre and the like.  I couldn't get to MAC Pro often, Ben Nye took awhile to ship and the etailers came and went. forward to working a gig and using the products. *Rachel Zoe voice* I die! Since many of my clients had darker skin tones, it was difficult to find products as equal to MAC.  This product was amazing and I would have given my kit to start over and only use this line.  Imagine a candy store, but with makeup.  I researched the owner, and knew she was something when I found her to be from France. That's when I fell for this brand and have courted her ever since.
As years moved forward and I moved this was harder to get, but at that time, it was beginning to catch on and I'd find artists willing to CP for me.  Then came the YouTube community. Trade shows were no longer limited to artists, so loading up each year became a chore.
Fast forward to now.  Last year's IMATS was a mess! It was inundated with a different genre. People were getting into makeup due to videos and wanting to see, meet, idolize gurus.  As a result, I wasn't able to get my products but felt somewhat okay with what I had.  I accepted a gig about a month ago and was getting more clients.  I needed product, and had to have MUFE as I wasn't as confident with my Bobbi Brown as it can tend to get oily really fast.  I'm confident with MUFE because I've used it more.  Two weeks on I found where there was a method for Pros to get products.  I wasn't sold after reading their reviews on Yelp but hey, business is business so I place an order.  It took forever, as it sounded like the girl was distracted and the music was load.  Hmmm... I should have known when she hung up something was off.  I can't remember the last time I placed an order and never got any confirmation.  No e-mail, no invoice, no nothing!  I didn't even have the associates name.  I wait a week & call back it's ten to nine and no answer.  I call back the next day (yesterday) and find out my order had gone out the day before!  Are you fucking kidding me? How does that happen?  Seriously!
Next week is my dry run!  I always plan larger gigs down to
the second especially when I'm dealing with primadonnas.   I have no choice at this point but to go to MAC Pro.  Why didn't I follow my gut?  I could have ordered from Illamasqua, they have great service, but I wanted my first love.  We've been working together for a long time.  I had the cheek to call and see if it could be cancelled, but realized it was en route and would be up to 10 working days for $7.95 shipping! It gets worse better, the seemingly less daft sales assistant says I can order it again but pay for expedited shipping. Behold:

my thoughts too!

So, that's my pathetic story of how things ended between MUFE and I.  We had great times, I learned allot, but we have grown apart. I'm no longer choosing to remain loyal to one.  Variety is good in this industry, but in order to build trust and start and foster another lover, I must spend more time and get to know the product better.  I guess we both learned from this.  Morale of the story:  Sometimes you have to have a backup plan no matter how in you are. 

Stay Gorgeous,

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The biggest lie men tell women right here!

Sexiest Woman 2010 Minka Kelly
I wish I had a coin for each time a male told me, "You look better without all that makeup on." *ding* Lie! STFU! I really hate this lie.  I can handle the "No you are prettier than..." or "You look fine, let's go!" but the makeup bit? LIARS!!
I don't fault them as they have convinced themselves they really, prefer women without makeup. 
So, I wanted to do some investigative work.  I looked at some of the names I cannot get away from in the past week.  They usually find themselves on the glossies at the market, have an album dropping or some sort of buzz in the media.  In addition, men love them (women too) or they wouldn't be in the headlines.  For example, Chris Cuomo reported when the media reports "real" news, their ratings plummet but when it's celebrities, royalty and so on, their ratings sky rocket.  Why?  Because as long as people are talking about them, they will be in our face and I don't mind, it's life, they all have their day, and then the next best thing comes along.  That's media and we minions get bored ..... I looked up the 2010 Sexiest Woman according to Esquire.  Kudos, as she's very natural looking and it was so hard to find a bad photo of her.  There was one of her on the beach but is that fair and impartial? I admire that.  Many of the others weren't as non Victoria Secret-Beyonce-J.Alba.  They're seen as icons!
I found some celebrities and, "Guess what?"  They look like you and I!  They do!  In the photos I post, I went to Google images and found photos by searching for celebrities out and about.  I know it would be easier to search "celebrities without makeup" but that is cruel.  Those are made to look awful, they get the ones where the person is half blinking, or frowning all the worst so, to be fair I found everyday images.  Let's proceed, shall we?
Still pretty, but what do you think? Honestly?
I chose to find one with same hair colouring

Can't you see passing her in the mall?
 I love makeup but not because I am afraid to be seen without it or I think it makes me me.  I like the art of putting it on.  For me, it's so much easier to put makeup on other people.  I can see the whole face, I can manipulate my fingers and see if the left eye's crease is like the right one.  I learned makeup by putting it on others, then I liked the way they gawked at themselves in the mirror.  That's what enabled me to make friends living in different countries.  Imagine being black in Russia? Yeah, you have to have a way of making yourself not threatening because you stand out wherever you go.  Different story for a different day.
What's more, I enjoy playing with makeup to transform myself.  For instance, I would not wear the same makeup for daytime as I would for a evening cocktail party.  I may want to make myself emulate a pinup girl or make my eyes "pop" or appear bigger.
Failed at finding one bad pic of her even at the beach!

Let's get back to the blokes.  What image do you think these men are drooling over when they go on about how "hot" or "fine" and the sexual things they would do to (insert female celeb here). In your dreams!   Speaking of that, what image of "her" are they erm "making love" to themselves with?  Lad rags of course, which have the women in sexual poses, loads of makeup even if they don't there is so much Photoshop that's been done the woman is made to be perfect.  Looking at the photos I researched I find that these "babes" look just like you and me.  They are people under all the press, movies, posters, albums etc.  I dare a man to find these women half as sexy as they do you.  All of them look like everyday people you would see.  Don't get me wrong I see people who I have to do a double take at all the time.  My point is, men don't know what they like.  Behold....

They don't know what the fcuk they want!
They don't like women fat, skinny, smart, etc. heck do they know what they like?  Sure it varies, but ultimately, they just like us.  It may be our hair, scent, smile, laugh or the way they feel when we're with them. Of course they think you look beautiful without makeup.  Men don't understand makeup and most women they don't condone are people like Katie Price, Christina you get the idea.  All women look great fresh faced with their hair up or with that sexy bed head, but don't think for a minute men don't like makeup.  Sure it's a nuisance when it transfers, it's also not fun to have lip gloss all over, regardless of who you kiss, so I get their intent. But trust me when I say, you don't need to chuck your makeup over a man.  Don't change for anyone, but as many people who think we are "brainwashed" into hiding behind makeup, men are "brainwashed" into thinking they like "natural" women.  I found an interesting article here and even though the people look good before getting "shopped" you can clearly see the difference albeit slight, is what separates them from average Jane.
So glad to get that rant off my tiny flat chest.  I'm not hating on pretty people, nor do I think all men are dogs, but it had to be told.  I don't like men who dig in their pants, burp loudly or fart and laugh, but hey I'm not butt hurt
Stay Gorgeous,

Monday, November 15, 2010

Perfect Imperfections? Seriously?

So I'm in my "pontificating" mode.  I am an extremely deep thinker.  I think about everything.  I consider it a mixed blessing.  I can see both sides to an issue.  I don't strive to be right, rather seek first to understand.  I can admit when I'm wrong and mean it when I try to learn from it.  Unfortunately, if I'm thinking about something, it's not simple for me to have a yes or no, do or don't.  I've created the list of pros and cons, and even made visual aids to make simple decisions.  This post was one I feel passionate about, but fear the ramifications.  Lately, there's a tag on YouTube wherein people discuss their "perfect imperfections."  I know it's all in good fun, but part of me feels it's sort of crass.  The people doing these videos are gorgeous.  I know, "No one's perfect, we all have flaws, and it's good to know other people have insecurities." BLAH!  The initiator of the tag is absolutely gorgeous.  When I watched her video, I could not stop looking at how perfect she is.  What's more, the things she feels self conscious about (like 99.9% of the rest) aren't visible to the naked eye.  ONE guru I could relate to, sort of.  I felt like the ugly girl in primary school who overhears the "popular" girls going on about their "thunder thighs" whilst I stood there with obese tree trunks.  Again, the spirit of the tag is great, but I can't help but wonder what we simpletons should strive for?  I know the channels are from people whose primary purpose is beauty, fashion etc.  I could not help wondering how people who are dealing with depression, loss of a limb, or disfigurement would feel watching these girls.  Many would love to trade places with them in a heart beat.
I reckon the skeptic in me, didn't see this as fishing, but rather another cliquish think to generate "buzz" subs, and views.  As it is, I'm insignificant in their world.  Unless you have a channel, a blog with a huge following, or are bff's with someone in the "community" you're opinion isn't really respected.  They may view your response, but I would not hold my breathe expecting a reply.
"But...but... I have a billion subs, you can't expect..."  Really?  Those people are what got you there, but you have time to shop, vacation, tweet, blog, etc.  It's priorities!
No, let's not go there.  Now if you say, "Where's your channel?" I'll have more respect.  I don't have one because
  • It's all been done
  • I work, take care of my family, and go to university
  • I don't have a high def camera
  • I find it odd to talk at a camera
  • I'm not a upbeat, extrovert (go team) personality
  • I can't foresee an audience I would appeal to
Sure it's just the Internet, but I dunno.  It doesn't sit well with me.  I feel like something all in good fun may be seen as sensitive to some.  So, maybe not the disfigured, but the girl who is enduring puberty with the body changes, acne and growing teeth.  Her parents (ie Katy Perry) may not have the funds for Accutane and braces right now.  She has to make the best with what she has but..really? 
I don't mean to come across as judgmental, but I felt the need to say, "No one is perfect, but God."  We have flaws, and maybe their quirks.  I see them as character. 
Have a lovely day, believe in yourself! ♥

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Product Review: Chanel Mat Lumiere

I have to confess I've got loads of products due to "bandwagoning."*

Definition of BANDWAGON*
1: a usually ornate and high wagon for a band of musicians especially in a circus parade
2: a popular party, faction, or cause that attracts growing support —often used in such phrases as jump on the bandwagon
3: a current or fashionable trend 

after six hours of wear

I've stated I am just like you.  I read glossies, watch telly, peruse forums, blogs and am trying to avoid YouTube.  So, I'm avoiding product purchase by reviewing the items I did purchase for review.  The products I have I buy, even for my kit.  They may be discounted, but I don't obtain products from any outside sources.  I do get testers whilst shopping, but with the enormous amount of makeup I feel gluttonous if I accept anything as I cannot think of one brand I don't have at least one thing from.  Please don't judge.  I donate to the shelters, I've tried to do giveaways (no one responded) and I have no little sisters and my colleagues either don't fancy makeup or they are in the same predicament.
I purchased Chanel Mat Lumiere in Walnut.  I kept watching the Chapman sisters rave about Vital Lumiere and felt I wanted to try this brand and when I enquired about oily/combo skin, Sam was kind enough to respond in kind stating Chanel do one for oily skin. 

It is supposed to offer 12 hour shine free medium coverage. While I did love the finish, and the look of my skin, I had oil within 4 hours.  I did blot my skin with a tissue twice, but I cannot say this worked for keeping my skin oil free.  I did experiment prior to posting the results.  I tried it one week without a primer.  Results? Still oily.  I tried one week with an oil free primer.  Still need for blotting.  I chose to double my water intake and use a mattifying suncream and was oily.  I don't think the product is to blame, rather the marketing.  Fortunately, Macy's will accept returns and I wrote my experience.  Do I feel it will work?  No, because marketing is what gets the company to sell products and most people won't take the time to give feedback, but instead not repurchase.

Overall, I won't recommend this for people expecting an oil free finish.  I do recommend this for the overall look of the product.  It goes on very smooth and it didn't feel heavy, nor was a nervous about touching my face and then having transference.  I wash my hands frequently, but nothing worse than giving a hug and having left makeup on the other person.  Additionally, it's steep in price and I find Revlon Color Stay equally good with more color options.  I hope this helps, and unfortunately, darker skinned lovelies outside of the US will have a harder time getting a good match. :(  Good luck!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Reader Request: Sunscreen for DRY skin

Unfortunately, I forget this is an online blog and anyone can stumble across it.  I love that people read it; however, I don't promote this as I don't want to fail anyone.  That said, I received a response to my Sofina Lucent post about sun protection for oily skin. 
So, I did reflect on it and did some research on a few forums, I took that information to my dermatologist and she agreed on La Roche-Posay
Rather than stop there, I suckered a co-worker into trying this for six weeks.  I chose a woman of 23, with very dry, yet sensitive skin.  She was to apply this once in the morning because it claims "24 hour protection."
  • It's quite moisturising without being heavy or feeling greasy.
  • It does make the skin feel a bit more dewy and supple.
  • It's long lasting.
  • In evening photos there was a slight cast due to the SPF.
  • You will need an oil based cleanser to remove (may clog if not completely cleansed).
  • It's not readily available in all drugstores, this was in CVS.
Overall, I was very impressed with this and I would recommend this to those with dry skin who need sunscreen.  It doesn't have the awful scent that Shiseido has.  I like that it's not heavy and doesn't leave shine.  I used a blot sheet after application to test if there was traces of oil sitting on the top layer and the cream did penetrate the skin.  I feel the best method of application is right after cleansing.  The face is still moist and this can act as a moisturiser in place of one's regular; however, depending on skin type you may still need to add moisturizer first then apply this. 
I hope this helps, if not, I have a few others, but they didn't impress me in terms of how foundation applied afterwards.  Good luck!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Women: You are NEVER too old!

46 never looked better!
I am so frustrated with societal norms which generate the response, "She's too old to..."  It makes me cringe every time I hear that.  Seriously, why does it matter one's age when it comes to style?  When doing hair, it was the norm to tell women over thirty they should not let their hair grow past their shoulders.  It would "date" them and make them appear old.  WHAT?  I bought into it for awhile until I met a woman with long grey hair and she looked better than most women in their teens and twenties.  She was in her late sixties.  She brought a new and improved meaning to the phrase, "Silver Fox."
There are a lot of media forms where people are in the habit of posting people only to criticize them and tear them apart regardless of their age, race, etc.  It's gotten ridiculous how mean women have become to each other for no reason.  We see them on YouTube, television, or in magazines and become judge and jury over their every move.  I get that there are some b*tches and a$shholes out there but documenting one's every move and screen capping them for kicks?  I am reminded of a quote by whoever, "Those who anger you own you."  I'm not about to waste energy being bothered by another person's existence.  I'm selfish and life's too short.

I know, "Black don't crack"

50 & still hot!

I was really angry to read statements by WOMEN along the lines of "(Celebrity) is too old for that look!" or "(Celebrity) needs to wear age appropriate clothes, she looks ridiculous."
Ladies, we have it hard enough as it is.  Men seem to get a pass on their juvenile antics, but when women do something similar (Demi Moore ie Cougar) it becomes a negative. 
Don't get me wrong, a hideous outfit on a woman of ANY age is still hideous.  *marinate in that for a sec*  When you see someone "mature" in a mini skirt, Lucite shoes and a tube top, would it matter her age?  Of course not!
What's more, why the need to impart your belief on another's individuality?  You don't like tricolored hair?  Don't dye it.  Think tattoos are gross and piercings are trash? Yep, same thing.  But why would you want a world where everyone is the same?  I would hate to live with anyone else like me let alone dresses, acts, and thinks like me.  I love to be challenged, I like when people look different, and I'm inspired by many of the things I see other women wear.
Women have it bad enough as it is.  Unlike the majority of men, we are highly critical of ourselves.  We see something completely different in the world than what others see.  We cannot even accept a compliment without feeling arrogant. 
Please don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do because you're not 18-21 like many media cutoffs.  That's simply ageism and that's bloody ridiculous!  People who feel they are too old to change their:  occupation, have a child, travel, go back to college etc. have bought that notion and it's time to rethink and refocus on what you want in life. 
No words...
In closing, don't give me the excuse, "If I had that kind of money..."  I've seen women of various income levels preserve their beauty, and I'm not talking about the plastic, duck lips all over the telly.  I really don't see Helen Mirren spending hours on end in a gym or fitness center.  Whilst I do see a lot more fakery in society, *cough, wonder why, cough* not everyone is caving, there are still some of us who are natural but now we have to defend our God given traits because so many people are choosing to get a little bit of "work done."  Stop worrying about how others are living, live your best life!