Thursday, June 3, 2010

The Price of Beauty...

*Confession Time*  See this woman to my left?  I googled "most beautiful woman in the world, and found her.  Truth be told, I'm depressed looking at her.  Seriously, I can't find anything wrong with her aesthetically.  I know if I put her photo on a forum some self righteous git would say, "She's not pretty she has (insult here)!"  "All that Photoshop would make me that pretty too!" Those may be valid points, but the truth is:  There are beautiful people in the world who dictate how we feel about ourselves.  I'm writing about this as I had to reflect on my quest for "perfection."  Logically, there is no such thing, but if I just...then I'll be happy and more confident.  Why?  I'm healthy, I'm kind, I have opportunities to make a difference in the world, God loves me and Jesus thinks I'm to die for. 
Well, reading about these YouTubers who have allegedly had plastic surgery, and Heidi Montag's experience, makes me question why we do this to ourselves.  Here's something to consider, if you have surgery to fix your ____, what happens if/when you give birth and that child inherits your ____?  Will you encourage him/her to make their own decision based off your experience/decision?  Will they think "Mum/Dad didn't like theirs, so mine must be bad too?"  It starts at home and there are so many men and women who are undergoing elective surgery to change/enhance their appearance.  It's really depressing to think about, hence my post, but how do we learn to love ourselves with flaws?  People are doing alterations on their body like they would a dress at the cleaners.  Take this in, suck that out, put that here, lift this, add that, laser here, inject this, remove that, etc.  Doctors are making a shit ton lot of money from people who don't feel their appearance is acceptable as they are.  I understand cosmetic reconstruction, that's not what this is about.  Why are people we (as society) look to as very attractive doing things to alter their natural/God given beauty only for us to follow.  Let me explain it further.  We all do makeup/hairstyles/diets based off a celebrity.  What we fail to realize is many times, that celebrity has had a little "nip tuck."  Which means, not even the celebrity we are putting on a pedestal admiring, looks that good.  So where does that leave us?  Chasing a fallacy because the truth does not exist! 
We are all going to grow old, and our bodies will change due to giving birth, stress, how we eat, etc.  The most we should strive for is a healthy version of who we are now.  Lose weight for your health benefits and the mental (confidence) will follow, but don't do it because your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, job, etc. will be happy.  In time your esteem will suffer and you will resent the person.  Not to mention BDD
Do I love the way I look? Hell No! I would change so many things, but I know that it's a slippery slope and I would not stop.  Think of when you redecorate your house.  It's starts with painting the walls, then you change the rug to match the colour of the walls, then the furniture looks dated... That's my personality.  So what then?  I find things I can work on naturally, and accept myself more and more. I try to tone up, work on my skin, work with my hair and so on.  It's a work in progress, but someone has it worse.  Remember the story of the man who complained about no shoes and met the bloke with no feet?  I think of people who wish they had the (insert flaw) but are badly disfigured, paralyzed or living with some hurdle I am too much of a pussy wuss to endure.  Athletes with missing limbs, plus size models or stars who don't fit "stereotypes" of beauty who are seemingly doing well.  The actress from Precious probably would have never had the opportunities she does now if she let the standard dictate her ability to play a role.  I think she needs to work on her health, but that's a different topic.  Look at Kristen Stewart.  I  find her average in comparison to the actresses in the films with her.  But, apparently, both the actor and the fictional character are in love with her.  She's not the most sexy, glamorous, designer wearing young woman, but she has a prince who seems to prefer her the way she is.  Don't mean to be preachy, but in light of so many young women altering their appearance, and the mind fuck games it played on me about my nose, I felt compelled to post on this topic.  Do I care about these girls? Not really, I can't seem to get away from them and the controversy but my opinion is irrelevant.  I just hope anyone thinking about changing something realizes it's not necessary to do so, and any agency who feels one should is the WRONG agency.  If you want bigger breasts, remember it's something you have to maintain until you die.  There are drawbacks (leaking, keloids, ripples) so be informed and don't worry so much about what's wrong with you.  Write down all the things right with you and your energy will draw more abundance than you can imagine.


LJP said...

Your article inspired me and I'm sure it will reach a lot of other people too. It's too easy to get caught up in perfection and mess up what you've already got. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

thanks, this really helped my self esteem :)

Anonymous said...

I agree with you completely... I am 16 and I just had a baby girl, and I had wanted surgery done on my nose for a long time... but my nose isn't that bad, and hers is hella cute. So all in all, I agree with you. People need to stop comparing themselves with others. No one is better than anyone else. We are all our own person. Even people at jails are not necessarily worse than we are, we don't know the full story. I very much like your blog, and I hope it will help my bestfriend who keeps thinking she needs to change herself just for someone else. It's obvious that if someone is trying to change you (unless it's for a medical reason), they don't love you for who you are, so what's the point of changing yourself for them, when you can have so much more.

Much love,
SinBear Wonderland

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just loved reading your site! I just booked in last week to have a nose job, im 33, (white) and have a rather large bendy, boxy tip. (like that french actor???) Im very happy with the rest of my face, think its kinda cute, but its just my nose!!! I grew up watching my mother and fathers noses get bigger with age, they both had large boxy tips also. I feel like when i get done up, people look at me and think... "she's pretty, shame about the nose though!" As thats how I looked at my mother all my life (never said it of course) Oh boy, now I sound really shallow! Im happily married with 2 girls, who both have larger noses too. My hubby, also with a fat nose, Lol, doesnt mind my nose at all, and doesnt think I should have it changed. Im soooo torn between finally having my dream of looking into the mirror and being happy with my face, or accepting my flaw and living with it. I have thought how it would affect my girls, I would hate the thought of them thinking they should have it done because I did,,, But then, they may grow up and get theirs done anyway, and I would have held back for their sake for nothing??? AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!
I need some help people!!!! Lol.

Anonymous said...

Do way u feel is best I have an upturned nose its cute shape but rather big id like a smaller version of it I think if ur happy evry1 who loves u will be happy dat ur happy