Saturday, September 21, 2013

Imperfect Perfections?


Learning to love who you are as you are is a constant struggle for some, myself included. Since my mum passed the world is different. Sometimes I feel like I'm dreaming. The emotional roller coaster is enough to need mood stabilizers.  I always thought I'd be older when I lost a parent. I never imagined I would be young, single, childless and in the wrong country. I have been looking at life from the sidelines, and it's time to get back in the game. Only problem is, the game has changed. It's always been dog eat dog, but now it's like the world is always waiting to demonstrate how imperfect, or less than you are.
A few observations make it so much more intimidating. It's so ugly out there because people don't stay relevant as long as they did in the past. It's really a short shelf life. Remember when "Robsten" was everywhere? Panacea 81 was more popular in the online beauty community and now... I watched some videos and the worst thing is to feel ugly, lonely, despair and watch these young, beautiful, and vivacious beauty vlogs on "How to be Happy" or "How to be more Confident..."
It's almost an insult. Even if I didn't have body dysmorphic disorder (bdd) I'd be offended. When you're in a dark place and you feel alone and suddenly some chirpy, attractive, young lady who has millions of "selfies" loads of social events and men and women fawning over them giving advice about building confidence. It's like an athlete telling an out of shape and overweight person how to prepare for a competition. Sure their life may not be perfect, but when people only put out the good (which is natural) and someone is feeling bad internally the cards seem unevenly stacked.
That's what marketing is for. It's not personal, but advertisers are under a lot of pressure to make sales in a tough economic time. Add to that a plethora of people who are being used to market their brands to an audience that is quite fickle, and it's no wonder people are selling themselves out.
I think the problem lies when we seek approval from external sources. When you seek acceptance from a greater source, one that is tangible, that you can touch, you're half way home. People on the web don't know you, they know stats, hits, numbers. Get friends you can talk to in real life who interact with you personally. It's easy to encourage people online, but we need physical support for our mental demons. Hey, even Jesus had twelve disciples. In short, we all need someone, and if we could learn to love ourselves first (hard task but essential) then find someone we can talk to or spend time with, over time, we can fill that empty space we look to fill with shopping, food, video games, alcohol, etc. Find your talent, and build your  confidence. You can always support others, but always know it's okay to put you first!

xo

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