Monday, June 30, 2014

The value in knowing your worth & start collecting revenue

The important things matter in the end, no?
If you sold Mary Kay or Herbal Life, you might allow people to sample your product, but would you just give your inventory away? What about working a 40 hour week, not as a volunteer, but for free?
Look at how you allow others to treat you. Do your friends, lovers, colleagues bleed you dry? If so, you haven't quite figured out your worth.
The other day, I realised I was really trying to make friends, and maybe a love connection since it looks like I'll be here awhile.
I tried online dating to have sub-par responses but that didn't bother me too much. Then, a "friend" was telling me about how she met this guy and how well they were getting on and he stopped communicating with her. She sent him texts, emails, and asked what I thought she should do. I told her it was apparent he was not interested given the information she conveyed to me. "Well, I think I deserve to know why he just stopped. I feel like our friendship wasn't important." 
I said something to her, and after, I have ceased contacting her. See, I met "Jane Doe" and we hit it off. We have a lot in common, we work in the same field, same family dynamics and many of the same ghosts in our pasts are similar. We got on well, but she had said something that I don't like hearing but I thought "she never met a girl like me." So, we were thick as thieves and I was her support system through a lot of things in a short period. When she thought she had breast cancer, I was there for her 110%, when she needed to talk about a break up, there I was, when she needed someone to simply listen, me again. I started to think about some of my pain, and situations where I needed someone to listen or at the oncologists maybe someone to text. When you're sat in a hospital room and you see others, it makes you think. I saw all the people who had their infusions the same day and time as me, but I was always alone. So, I decided to be upfront. I compared the situation she felt to what I felt about her. She said she didn't really have female friends, guys were not so catty, blah, blah, blah but since I am alone 99.9% of the time when not working, how can I gossip or engage in that behaviour? Naturally, I got the same thing that I hear all the time. "I have trust issues." Give me a break, life is all about failing. If things were a slam dunk there would be no challenge to try to grow, improve, change and develop. We all have trust issues, but we don't stop living and we don't stop living life. We trust that we will leave the house and return home in one piece. We trust that public transportation will get us to our destination so we do take risks. If she's willing to risk heartbreak that's a weak excuse for not being a friend. In her mind, because I allowed it, she was a good friend. She trusted me with her deep, dark secrets.
I was giving her a lot of me and getting nothing in return. Then I thought about how hard I had been trying to make friends, and I realised, enough of this. I'm a good person, I am compassionate, loyal, and dog on it people like me ☺
I took an inventory of what I have to offer and what I wanted in return. It's hard to make a decision if you don't know what you want. I'm emotionally resilient, so needy, touchy and feely types make me nervous. I sorted out the type of person, wrote it down, and put it in my box. Then I stopped looking for someone to fill that void. I found out about Meetup and started selecting things to do based on my interests. I'm happy to say, I had my first visit, and things went quite well. I was scared mute, but I managed. I feel some kind of way about cutting "Jane" out, but if I kept doing the same thing, how could I expect different results? If I did not value my time, nor connect with people who can foster mutual friendships, then it's on me to say, "Hey, I'm not made to earn your trust, this is who I am!" It's a great feeling. I may upset some people since, I've been that go to rock for most of my life in all my relationships, but life gives us experiences as opportunities to grow.


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