Monday, October 5, 2009

Birthday Wishes!


I am so proud of myself this year.  A year ago, my birthday was very depressing.  It was a pivotal birthday and yet none of my friends or family rang.  So, I got dressed up with my dog and decided to take photos of myself and celebrate.  It was the year I decided to start blogging.  I kept that commitment and as I pass this year, I am giving myself a new challenge.  I've thought long and hard about this for nearly three years, but fear held me back.  I think I'm going to give it a go and not worry about what will or will not happen.  That is my gift to myself.  To do something, if only once and if I don't like it, I don't have to do it, but sitting on the sidelines has not gotten me anything but callouses from routing others on.
For my birthday this year, I knew it would be the same as last year, and I was feeling sad about the fact my other is so terminally ill she does not realize I'm even her daughter.  It has caused a rift between my father and me yet allowed me to get closer to the brother I had been estranged from for many years.  I don't blame my family for forgetting about me.  I have kept to myself and been quite isolated and don't work at having a strong relationship with them.  Too many bad times, and I'm not ready to let go and I still fear their response.  Anger, violence, and addictions have been far too rampant.  Sure I get sad when I hear about all these people who are close to their family, or during the holidays when people visit their family I feel left out being alone with my dog, but I have so much to be thankful for but it just doesn't feel that way when one's heart is heavy.
So this year I took myself to two cities for the day.  One was a hit, the other a miss and I don't think I'll go back to that town ever again.  I'm talking about a day in San Francisco and Napa Valley.
San Francisco was amazing!  The weather was warm, the people were kind and the streets and stores were busy.  I finally went to Kryolan and without going into detail, I should not have gotten my hopes up.  The customer service was so horrible, I went to move my car and decided, "I've had enough, nothing I can't buy elsewhere."  The lady was horrible.  Each time I asked a question she replied condescendingly and the first few times I blamed it on a miscommunication but we were both speaking English.  No thanks, see you at the Makeup Show or another event, but as for your store, not anytime soon.
So, I had to go to the MAC Pro store and that was the best time short of the Pier and downtown shopping.  The girls were so kind, so patient and didn't try to sell me on anything.  They offered samples and told me they didn't want me to buy anything I wouldn't be 100% happy with.  I thought I was in the wrong store.
For the purpose of brevity, I'll get to Napa.  I had only one goal for Napa.  The CCO and maybe a winery or two and taking pictures.  Had I planned it, I would have taken a tour and gotten a massage and facial.  Oh well...
Well, Napa is a cool town with an old historic vibe to it.  Highway 29 is the route I was "stuck" on and spent three hours trying to get off of.  I was so tired of driving and sitting in my car on a two lane highway with so many people cruising and sightseeing.  I was stuck in traffic and in the wrong direction.  Which meant, yep, I had to turn around and do it all over again. 
As for the blog, I kept this up for a year and now it's time to work on my next act. 
xoxo

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