Monday, May 10, 2010

You Complete Me!

Never say those words!  Seriously I find the downfall of so many people in the world is seeking validation.  You've seen it!  Think about how society is right now.  You are classified as: a follower, a fan, a subscriber, a _____.  Come on!  I'm more than that, and that's what I have to comes to terms with.  We seek people to validate us.  The reason we seek validation is that we are missing something within ourselves.  Almost all addictions are the result of an emptiness.  Usually we have an emptiness in our heart, but don't want to admit it.  Therefore we turn to outside resources to fill those voids. 
Unfortunately, when our expectations of someone fails us, we immediately get "butthurt."  It's natural to wonder why don't people like us, want us, love us, etc.?  But the truth is, we either a) feel we don't deserve it, b) are afraid of being hurt or c) convinced ourselves something is wrong with them/us.  While the answers may be either one or all of the above, it scares me that so many people are seeking validation in the wrong person!!!!!
I won't name any names, as this isn't a name and shame post.  There are people on the internet who can get people to pay their rent, mortgage, et al.  While, many times, I understand the need to want to help a fellow human, what do we really know about these people?  We know "who" they show us online.  We "know" the image they portray, and usually we decided they are good, loving, people who like us back.  Recognize these traits:
  • They are Christian, say sweet encouraging things...
  • Are sweet, pretty, bubbly, ...
  • Fell on hard times, but has always been so kind...
  • Has a huge following and everyone loves them, rates them, follows them, ...

This may be all well and good, but the other thing in common?  They are all human.  Humans fail!  We do it all the time, and it pains me every time I see someone manipulate people into gaining subscribers, followers, etc. under the guise of "helping" them.  I was floored last year when someone put a "donate" button so they could go attend the International Model and Talent Show in Los Angeles last year.  They would be able to do more "videos" with the products and knowledge.  Now it appears people want their subscribers to send them things.  Really?  Why?  One person stated it was because she "entertains people for free online."  Another needed money for legal fees, and the list goes on.  Some people think, "Hey!  It's a good concept if you can do it."  Really?  There's a distinction between can and should.  For instance, say you know you can "work" someone into giving you something you want.  Does that make it right?  Maybe I believe that what goes around comes around and that hard work, determination and perseverance will be its own reward, but I'm a silent minority.  I guess if I branded myself, promoted myself, strategically placed my photo with tags, I'd be one of "them." But why would I do that?  For me, money is great, but it's not everything.  Greed is a gateway to a self destructive lifestyle.  It becomes an addiction, we compete for more, crave more and turn into something/someone we don't recognize.  Sure, I don't have a "posse"  but the talent I pride myself on, is that I truly care about people.  Sure, caring doesn't pay my rent, it doesn't market well and sometimes you get screwed, but nowadays, people like me are quite rare. 
In short, be careful with your heart online and in the real world.  People are people and many have ulterior motives.  It sounds negative, but I've been shown this to be true many times.  Don't see people as having the key piece of what lacks within yourself.  It's great to be encouraged, uplifted, motivated, or inspired, but no one is better, smarter, prettier, etc. than you.  Are you thinking, "Why have teachers, pastors, friends, partners, etc. then?" 
All relationships are give and take.  Even the smartest professor will learn something from a student.  The best relationships are when both partners are happy with themselves first, and in order to give you have to have had received.  We don't owe anyone anything.  "What has been so freely given..." Yes, that!  There will be costs which need to be covered, life isn't free, but don't go throwing your money around unless you have it to give.  More importantly, don't throw your heart around so freely either.  It's a precious thing, and nothing is worse than watching a person suffer with a whole in their heart.  Love, Laugh and Live, but be cautious, there are so many predators.  The answers for all you are looking for you already have.

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