Friday, May 28, 2010

Help I did Fake Tan and now I'm Orange!

I'M AN OOMPA LOOMPA GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!
Oh get over yourselves, it happens to the best of them.  Remember Nicole Kidman's makeup mishap?  It happens to everyone.  Unfortunately, in the rush to get that Victoria Secret bronzed goddess look, we leap into products we have no idea how to use.  Tutorials, and word of mouth can only go so far.  Let's discuss:
Why does this happen?  Applying too much of the sunless tanning product is most often the cause.  You only need about one or two ounces for your entire body.  Sure the directions may advise to continue until the desired color is established. STOP!  What they don't tell you is that the products are comprised such that even when you are done, the process continues for at least two hours.  In addition, many porcelain princesses pile on the dark or extra dark thinking it will balance.  Nope, the chemicals don't work that way, and your body chemistry doesn't read the directions on the bottle.  What works for Jane Q Fake Tan, doesn't necessarily work for Jen Q. Fake Tan.


MY HANDS! Relax, they too can be restored.  It's quicker, easier and faster to apply the solution with one's hands.  Unfortunately, you are marinating in fake tan due to the length of time it takes to apply properly.  Of course your hands are going to be orange.  Easy peasy let's look at some remedies, tried and true even for BRIDES!!!!

(You know you me)

Here are products good for the hands:
  1. Windex
  2. Hydrogen Peroxide
  3. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser
  4. Toothpaste with whitener
  5. Lemons
For the face:
  1. Lemons
  2. Febreeze
  3. Hydrogen Peroxide diluted with water 1:3
  4. Time and Patience
Remember, the harder you are on your skin, the worse things will get.  If gloves don't work to apply the product, go to the craft store and get a paint brush.  The last thing you need is to panic.  That's the first thing people do, then they grab ridiculous items like bleach, vinegar, Goop, pumice stones, and try and sand blast the orange from their skin.  So...they have orange, irritated skin and that is not a pretty look.  I think the worst thing is those who are addicted and in denial, but that's another blog post all together.  Heck, even Amber Rose has made huge faux pas but that's part of her "shock value."

(yes, she did...)

Cheers lovers,
xoxo


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