Monday, January 5, 2009

Roaring good time...


Okay, yesterday afternoon was a fail and defeat. I failed at saving money, but defeated a fear. I think you felines will allow me a "pass" for achieving something I have struggled with for a few years now. I drove to the crux of the Bay Area!!!
I have told myself a thousand times, when I make a friend here we can go shopping at the Pier. Or, once I have a boyfriend, he can take me to the Embarcadero. So many sentences starting with, "When..."
Yesterday, I got the courage to take myself on a date. My little pooch was with me, and he was wonderful UNTIL the MAC Pro store. I was dead scared and excited at the same time. I got past a CCO and told myself, if I stop halfway, I won't beat myself up. The potholes were insane. As I was bouncing along, I thought, "I'm spending more to go to MAC Pro, than I would had I made an online order." The ability to beat one of my fears=PRICELESS! How could I not try and keep waiting for life to happen? Panthers are not supposed to be frail, I want to be like the cougar, cheetah or the like, but I'm acting like a cowardly lion.
I went, and spent money I had not planned but I did it!
The puppy got a little rambunctious in the store, he saw another pooch and he would not stop barking. He barks like Mariah Carey sings, it is the highest pitch for a four pound dog. By then I was embarrassed, and wanted to disappear but the staff was kind, even offered water but I didn't accept. He and I got our packages took a stroll and found a freeway home FINALLY! I didn't have a map, I was on a mission without proper preparation. Which caused me about a tank of gas and a lot of driving in circles, leading to anxiety but it passed, I picked up the Unicorn at Target and all under $100 USD.
Cherubs, please don't feel terrible about fear, as a person with anxiety, it's not something to beat yourself up about, but make tiny goals. I wish the dates didn't always show up, but I'm still getting used to technology. I'm an analog old school cat, I rely on you kittens with cherub faces to help me and be patient.

Go treat yourself,


B.P.


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