Tuesday, July 7, 2009
A good friend will...
bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong, but a true friend will be sitting right there next to you and say, "Damn we really f*cked up!"
I have been thinking a lot about the value of friendship. Some say it's like good health, you never appreciate it until it's gone. Me? I think I'm a sad case in that, I am over having friends the way I did as a little girl.
Although we moved ALOT I always managed to meet one girl who was deemed my "best friend." When I was young, we would play all day and break to accomodate our parents, then we'd play some more until it was time to eat dinner, then more play and bed time. I would do this all summer long on a rinse and repeat schedule.
Once I got into school I had friends, but my bestie was the mate I would share all my secrets with. Who I fancied, my favorite singer, my problems at home, etc. As I got older, I learnt that sometimes we must learn who we deem to confide in. I think this is when we learn the danger of gossip. Gossip is something that can take on a form to the point where some people are so ashamed and hurt they don't want to go to school or live. I can't tell you how many adults I know who were bullied in their school years. It's really sad, because we don't start out that way. Sure there are some psychologically off kids out there who are determined to make other people miserable; however, children are generally seeking acceptance.
There are so many lonely people in the world and there need not be. I know I get the twinge of jealousy when I see a group of girls shopping together. I miss the days of hanging out with the girls, shopping, having lunch and mingling "A la Sex and the City" but it's not happening for me.
I think as we get older we spend less time facilitating or even nurturing friendships. It's quite sad most people look to computers or other technology to create friendships. We text, IM, or rely on Myspace and Facebook to keep in touch with friends. I read about some people who have over a hundred thousand "friends" on social sites. How the hell do you have that many friends? Wouldn't you lose track of things like, birthdays, graduations, and other important events? How do you decide what car to drive for you and your thousands of "friends" when you go to a movie or dinner?
I don't know, but it seems like the importance of giving back to people is losing against the narcissism of being all about self importance. I could be wrong, but it saddens me to know there are people who don't feel connected to others and are just existing rather than living.
I hope people learn, given there is a war going on, people are losing their homes, jobs and there is no end in sight, how to connect and support one another because, after all, no one is meant to be alone. We weren't created to be alone and all it takes is a smile to get a friendship started.
My challenge for you, get out and start living. Find someone, anyone who enjoys doing what you do and spend time with them. Build a friendship and cherish them as you would a plant and watch it harvest.