Monday, June 28, 2010

Labels, Identity and Boxes

So, why the hell am I laying on my desk?  I was thinking, and some of my best thoughts happen watching things I have no control over. 
It's 2010 and it seems to be, no matter what the intent is, people will always want to put each other in a box.  Seriously? This is something that gets me to no end.  A guy was talking to me about a serious issue at my work.  I don't mean serious as in, gossip or any of that, this is a potential adverse affect on one's career.  I kept watching him glance at me then my hair, then me.  I always wear my hair in some protective style during the heat, but this day, I had two ponytails.  I began to get self conscious that I looked ridiculous juvenile so I took them down.  We finished our chat and I returned to my office.  I heard him speaking to a co-worker and of course, she came to tell me what was said.  He apparently wanted to know what my ethnicity was since, "black women can't grow long hair..." Really?  Really!  If it weren't for black women on forums, I would still have hair to my ears (if that long). 
I don't fault him, but this is a grown man who what we were discussing had nothing to do with my hair.  It didn't look unkempt, and it was casual Friday.  Why are you in my business? 
So, I was watching a guru and people had left her the most ignorant comments because she is going from natural to relaxed again.  These people were BEGGING her to rethink her choice.  Why?  If chemicals on your head could penetrate your scalp and cause neuro developmental diseases, wouldn't she first need a scalp burn? Here are some of my favorites: *insert sarcasm*
  • light skin v. dark skin
  • relaxed v. natural
  • thin v. fat
  • pretty v. ugly
  • opinion v. hater
  • observation v. jealous
  • black v. white
  • mixed v. ???
  • guru v. subbie
  • fan v. follower v. friend v. commoner

(Can't fit in the box...must be too fat?)

I hate that we can't simply "be."  I get that we need to have labels to differentiate or describe things, people, etc., but do we have to use the label to make someone fit into our world?  Really, who gives a shit what anyone does with their hair?  Does it matter if someone dates the same gender, outside of their race or someone society finds not attractive?  How does that impact our day?
I understand we need to categorize to understand some things.  There are some girls who have really nice natural hairstyles that my hair cannot replicate, why? Because my texture is different.  In addition, my mother being a "Ginger" is the reason my hair won't stay jet black no matter how hard I try.  The color comes through and that's life.  But, don't think of me as your "fan" and therefore, you are better than me, and I must have permission to say "Hello" to you.  Or, if I like your blog don't accuse me of stalking you.  I'm just a simple girl, who is doing her best to enjoy life, one day at a time, in a world of mean spiritedness and self actualization. 
I truly hope people will think that no matter what we think of ourselves, people will try to label us based on THEIR issues. We don't need to live our life to please others, it's hard enough trying to be happy.  Reject the box cherubs!

(Not taking myself serious feels good)

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