Thursday, August 13, 2009

Facing Fears

I have loads of flaws and insecurities and I don't know if they will go away in time, if it's neurosis or lack of faith and acceptance for who I am, but I hate my eyes. I don't mind the color, but the whites of my eyes have never been white, so I don't like to post FOTDs because my eyes are horrid and I have a problem with comparing myself to others. I had looked online and was *this close* to scheduling an appointment for a surgical procedure to be done by a doctor at the Seer Institute in Korea until I found something closer. Behold the issue:

To others it may seem insignificant, overreacting or shallow, but I hate looking tired, high or like I've been crying. I spent too much on drops and tried every homeopathic detox, diet, and capsules from here to China. I hate them, they are staring at me like I'm sad or pathetic and it seems to haunt me and prevents me from sharing looks with friends, like you all.
So, I was browsing the web again and found Dr. Brian and feel like he may be a godsend but am trying not to get too excited.
I've contacted his office and "Jen" seems so caring and responsive, and I'm not an easy person to convince. I have done serious research and he's been mentioned and a forum wrong diagnosis and nothing bad, I am now obsessed with this procedure.
Don't worry, I'm still waiting to hear from my ophthalmologist and even wrote to a client of his who's had some success.
I resent myself for being shallow, but is it wrong to want to fix something that plagues you? I worry I may be starting something that I cannot stop. The beauty industry is so discriminating and look at all these celebs who think they look better with a few "touch ups" and now look altered. Pray for me!!!


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